My parents have a problem with....

Hello im writing today because i need a bit of advice and guidance. My whole life my parents have been very strict with me, didnt like me doing alot of things, sleeping over peoples houses, cursing or anything like that. Im 21 years old and its still all the same. I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and i only told her 2 times that i slept over his house. (i did a few other times but she dont know) me and my bf broke up and now i have been seeing a new guy for 3 months and i just decided that i was gonna sleep over his house tonight. I see no problem with it and neither does anyone else i have talked to. All day i was dreading telling my mom. I came home from work and said "Me and Floyd (thats my dog) are sleeping over Jeffs tongight" She said "oh yeah" Then i went in my room and she came up to my door and said "I know you didnt ask for my oppinion but i dont approve of what your doing tonight" All i said back was "Im 21" And she walked away. I feel bad that she is upset about it and i know they just care about me. Im an adult now and i can take care of myself. I think shes just worried about me having sex. Witch i never have done with this new boyfriend (not that i even plan on it tonight) She knows i must of done it with my ex being that we were together for 3 years. I feel bad about doing it but i am gonna sleep over there tonight. I just dont see a problem. What are your opinions on it? Am i wrong?

 

i think if your ready to with this new guy than go for it
your moms gonna think its wrong every time unless your married or something so like yea it may dissapoint her but you are way past being a legal adult and you can sleep with whomever you like
and it doesnt seem like your being promiscuous or anything because you only had with the last boyfriend a few times so yea
forget your mum hun

 

I think it's ridiculous that you're Mom still says stuff like that to you. "I'm 21." was the best answer you could have given.

 

Its really sickening the way she controls me. I have to base my whole life around what she thinks. My dad is ok he wont really say anything to me unless its reallly bad. She is the one who fights with me all the time over the most stupitest things!!! I ended up sleeping over his house last night. When me and my dog were leaving i told her to call me later if she wants and she said "no thanks." Now today when i came home she is not talking to me. About 2 months ago she didnt talk to me for 3 weeks because i accidently let the F bomb slip when i got my new car and the power window motor went in it the day i bought it!!! I had every reason to be upset and words slip. But yeah she didnt talk to me for 3 weeks until my dad dragged me down to make up with her. Now she wont talk to me because i slept over my boyfriends house!! Shes probably also mad because i didnt call to say goodnight before i went to bed! ITS REDICULOUS!!! Im so fed up with it and she never listens to anything i say. Its a shame when i pretty much have to ask permission to sleep out!! All of my friends laugh at me because of it.

 

"I have to base my whole life around what she thinks" (you may be missing out on some very amazing life experiences because of this...)

"My dad wont say anything to me unless its really bad" (i hope this isnt the case, or you are just exaggerating it, because if thats the case then that could lead to some potential issues with your attitudes regarding men later in life...)

and she wont talk to you for weeks for saying the F word? whew..i feel for ya sister lol......

Have you told your parents how you feel? Maybe you should?....YOU are not doing anything wrong at all....its your parents who are wrong in my opinion. Ofcourse who am i to say your parents are wrong...it sounds like they are just extremely protective of you (they must love you a ton!), but to a dangerous degree. If i was you, i would move out dude. I couldnt handle being controlled like that You should tell them how you feel, it may help? Or just move out lol hope you have a good day!

 

Yeah have you considered getting you own place? I dont think my parents ever cared TOO much what I was doing but I was always uncomfortable being the person i want to be while living at home. Now I feel alot more free, and its good times.

 

I don't know what to tell you. My parents pulled this shit on me when I was 17, and on NYE when I was 17 I told my mom I wasn't coming home, and that more than likely I'd be at my boyfriends house. I mean at least I wasn't driving around drunk. Sheesh.

She got over it, my dad too, though I don't know that she told him I was there, I think she said I was staying with a girl friend of mine. Whatever. But my parents were always really laid back. I don't think they really cared all that much about what I did, just as long as the neighbors didn't know about it. Ya know, keeping up with appearances, etc.

 

I think you need to re-assure your mother that you are having safe sexual relations.

Tell your mother in a letter if you aren't comfortable that you are having safe sex. That's the most important thing that she cares about. If you are not, or if you want some of her advice, ask for it. Tell her that you want her to come with you for doctor's appointment and a physical to discuss your sexual experiences.

You are 21. You need to be mature with your parents - no matter how strict they are - they aren't stupid and it's best to take a responsible approach to this situation, that way they can actually see that you're a great daughter by being mature and on top of how you want to live your life. That's all they want.

 

I can see your problem I also have a very difecult mom(not that much and with me being a boy(I want to say man but hell I'm just 22) its much easier but you have only one option at least the way I see it. first trying to talk to her and if she keeps on insisting that only she knows whats good for you, you return her by the same coin meaning being completely apathic to the fac that se isn't talking to you(no matter how hard it his) and letting her see that there is nothing she can do to determine the course of your life(althou do be open to advice). no just to make myself clear I don't mean that you don't speak to her you just keep on talking to her if she answers or not in the end she will see that she needs to choose between not speaking to you at all or accepting who you are

hopes it helps and if still need help I be happy to help

 

maybe your mom needs to realize that you are an adult not a child anymore. some parents do everything they can to control there family no matter how old and mature the person is. for my family it was not that strict. still though as i have gotten older they are more trusting and relaxed. it soulds like your mom needs to chill.

 

Perhaps it's time you moved out?