Meeting someone online in real life, need advice?

So I'm fairly new on here, what a lucky website I stumbled across! This is right up my ally.

That being said, I need a little advice. I have a boyfriend (we are in an open relationship), but we are kind of in a weird place sexually right now. So I decided to cruise craigslist just for fun (I've NEVER picked anyone up off the internet). After looking, I realized I was way to chicken to actually meet anyone offline and that it was probably very unsafe. And also, I have a hard time just "hooking up" - there has to be a connection with the person.

[i'm a girl by the way, 22 years old]

So I thought, "How can I channel my sexual frustration and energy without actually having sex?" I'd had webcam fun before, so I thought why not! I found a guy who lives about an hour from me who had posted a very simple craigslist post saying he was looking for webcam fun and that was about it.

So I replied on a whim (using an "alternate" email I use when I don't want people to know my identity).

I'm a Journalist by profession, so I know how to trace IP numbers, phone numbers, do background checks . .. the whole bit. So I wasn't too worried about it.

Well, I e-mailed him . . .he e-mailed me back about a week later. Both of us were really just looking for webcam, sex fun . . . well once we started talking more we realized we had A LOT in common . . . like it was freaky how much we had in common. We exchanged LOTS of pictures and he has seen me on webcam (not doing anything, just typing) a few times. He has recorded a couple simple videos of him just to prove he's real and all that.

Well, he has a girlfriend too, but they have not been intimate for quite some time. He is open to an NSA type relationship, but (even though both of us are attracted to each other), given that we have so much in common, we are kind of more on a friend level (with lots of flirting and one erotic story he wrote me in the middle. lol)

I have to go up to his town for some legal issues and I mentioned it to him. He suggested we meet at a coffee shop downtown.
I try not to be naive with these kinds of things (i'm a seasoned couch surfer, traveler, hitchhiker picker uper, camper, pirate, SCA eventer, etc.) so I have LOTS of experience with strangers, people of ALL kinds, and meeting new people. I'm a pretty social hippie. I just love meeting people.

So I thought why not. I haven't given him my affirmative answer yet, but we are supposed to meet tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it, but I wanted to see if there was any advice (besides DON'T DO IT and BRING PEPPER SPRAY) anyone could offer me.

I've met people (nothing sexual) off the internet before, usually friends of friends though . . . nothing off of a dating site or an ad. So this is new to me.

I don't want it to be awkward because the whole reason for us communicating in the first place was pure and simple - sex! Well webcam fun / cyber sex. We haven't even done that (like I said we've flirted a lot and I've shown him my boobs, but that's it). There is definitely a deeper connection there. I'm not looking for a deep relationship and neither is he - and I already told my boyfriend and he said go for it (he's a little concerned about me meeting someone i don't know, but we have "safety backups").


Soooo . . .yeah! That's the basic gist of the story! Any suggestions? I really just don't want it to be awkward (normally I wouldn't think it would be, except in this case we both have some pretty high sexual tension between the two of us, so I'm a little worried we will meet and won't know what to do - he's sort of shy, but not too bad).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not meeting him for sex! haha! And he said he didn't want that either - at least not right away. There is a difference between a cyber connection and a real life connection.

We have a SHIT ton in common, so I guess if the physical tension is awkward we can just talk comic books (one of the mutual interests we share)

Also, he's 32 and a Scorpio . .. I'm 22 and a Libra. (FYI, age does NOT matter to me. My boyfriend is 25 years older than me. I'm pansexual, so I really don't care what a persons age, rage, gender, whatever is).

 

Something to get you going:

 

OK my first piece of advice is to meet up in a public place only because meeting someone you just talked to online can be a bit awkward if you are in a one-on-one situation. So, meeting up for coffee or something could be a good ice-breaker/tension reliever.

Second, if you KNOW this is a NSA thing, try not to get those strings. You seem to really dig him and feelings can get in the way of something NSA.

I'd say do it and have fun with it. Especially if you are used to meeting new people and hanging out with new people all the time...I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun and definitely update me about how it goes!

 

you shouldnt meet the guy id be pissed if you were my girlfriend.

 

thank you. Sort of NSA - more like friends with benefits kind of thing - we are both looking for that (just someone we can be friends with and possibly have some really good sex! haha! - we are both in fairly serious relationships and I REALLY love my boyfriend, I think this would actually really help us - me and my boyfriend i mean).

And Fingermouse, hahahaha!!!Oh baby, how did you know?? I'm set now.

 

fyi, my boyfriend knows about this. we've been together for 4 years and have an extremely open relationship (it's amazing once you remove the guilt and shame aspect of a relationship, very freeing!)

He completely supports me and I would do the same for him in a heartbeat (in fact I did . . . I hooked him up with a girl at an event not that long ago).

Even if it seems weird to you - respect that's normal and even helpful/beneficial to us.

 

I don't think I could do the open relationship thing because I'm such a private person, but I truly respect people who can...I hate feeling like I'm holding a guy down from wanting something else sometimes. But hey, if it works for you, that's great!

 

advice? listen to your heart. only one way to find out about your new friend, thats to meet up. online meetings are similar to a first date, it will most likely be awkward AT FIRST. If you understand this, it won't be so bad. Depending on you and him, it could be 2 seconds for you guys to feel comfortable with eachother, or 2 weeks. Just go in with an open mind, and don't go in with high expectations. Let everything flow naturally, and most importantly BE YOURSELF. It sounds like you like this man, so I would be aware of your feelings. Best of luck

 

thanks guys for the tips and advice

I met with him and was ridiculously nervous leading up to it, of course . . . we met at a coffee shop in town and he was very sweet.

There was like 2 seconds of awkwardness (but not really). We clicked really well! Like really really well!

And then we made out later! haha! We haven't really stopped texting since.

We both just want to be friends (with possible benefits . . . of course I still don't know him that well - but I'm looking forward to getting to know him.

I'm glad it went well!!