I noticed for almost 20 years, Ive never been able to get serious or really feel that "love" for someone that cared for me. its weird. I can really like someone but I feel like I dont really need them in my life. I get bored if they stop interesting me. I dip out when i feel like I really have to commit, I get scared because I think about the flaws they have and I think that I might not be able to get around them Im not sure what kind of guy I like but I do enjoy people with fucked up problems, addicts, closed minded people with a past. My personality and patience heals them in time. its like a mission to me. I personally find a laid back chilled guy, awesome but a care free, past free, go lucky people bug me and bore me i know im in that "confusion" stage of my life, figuring the most of myself out but i know ill never fully figure myself out but it makes me wonder why out of all the relationships i had, i never felt any love and I never really got serious or ran from it my friend asked today what I wanted out of my dating life and I honestly had no answer nor did I care, Im just a what ever happens, happens. type of person. my past made me who i am. Im the most caring, giving person/friend. people call me a sweet heart nowadays it was different back in high school. nicest guys wanted to date me and i just used the hell out of them and walked away, i wouldnt dare do that now but i think its karma honestly. I keep running into assholes when I never did before. I keep thinking its me its me but its really not. I give out an awesome vibe to a lot of people (i know my ego talkin) but its what i hear all the time. i get taken advantage of because im a realiable person my friend (whom I consider dating) opened up and told me that he sees how beautiful i am inside and out and how he thinks about dating me every day, my heart of gold and stickin by him through a bad time hes going through right now I almost started crying. i never get to hear that from people, especially men. I appericate it a lot even if I heard it all the time Im not sure if i really want advice or im just wanting pople to hear me out
Your voice is heard. Keep working in the direction you are going. It's good to leave the chips from your shoulders behind. I see you growing into an amazing woman, Stacey. Keep on keepin' on.
Um.. I heard you too? Really, I think some people just aren't ready until they are ready - and before they are ready - there is absolutely no pushing them. I had this girl I really liked when I was 14 or so. She clearly really liked me back. No matter how much either of us reached out, things just wouldn't work right. One of us would get nervous and unsure - something would get in the way (including one of the strangest events of my life). And towards the end, she had herself out on a silver platter for me. I freaked out, got awkward, got ashamed of that awkwardness, and didn't call her. Really, I wasn't ready - wouldn't be ready for at least 3 more years - and my relationship since after those 3 years has been beautiful. There's also the issue of compatibility. Some people just have trouble finding that person that excites and balances them the right way. I'm just brainstorming here =P Either way, your friend sounds like a nice dude.
thank you drummin and I will. Im not going to fight or search anymore. if the right guy comes along, he'd be looking for me thats how 90% of my relationships were, getting to iknow and wanting to date so bad but never really got into that point. and when we do start dating, its nothing interesting. its what ever OR when we do get to that "wanna start a relationship?" point, i freak and run. it happened with my friend, who im not talking to atm. I kept hinting at the thought of dating and when the good times were there with us, he asked if i wanted to be his girl and i freaked and made up some excuse but i did find out later that he doesnt want to get into another relationship cause he turns into an asshole so my dating strive just died. i really dont care anymore. if i got into a relationship now, i asure you, it wouldnt last more than 2 months. Commitment is just not my friend and I suppose when I feel ready, that'll be the day for now, I just want great friends, which I cannot find, they always bail out and I dont get why. This is why Im so sad and angry most of the time
Eh, they aren't something you can simply obtain. They aren't a product we can pick up at the friend store. It's a connection that just has to happen. Trying to force it seems like a good way to prevent that connection from happening (not to mention anger and sadness). Stop caring so much about it - make good friends with yourself for now.