At least they ASKED ... I've lost count of the number of times I watched helplessly as they poured the milk and offered it to me. I always declined to take it, smiled sweetly, and said "I normally have my black coffee with a little bit less milk than that"
I was attending a course today. As I've been at work all last night,I was asked by 'mine host' if I'd like a hot brew' "Yes please-tea,strong,white,no sugar". Two minutes later,I get my mug of tea delivered...and he says "You said you don't take sugar,so I only put two in!" He was totally genuine earnest,he could see NOTHING wrong with that..
S'totally true,Beachy. He said he hadn't stirred it,so I could leave the last bit if it got too sweet. Still-he meant well......
Bloke walks into a pet shop-"I want to buy a fly" "Sorry,we don't sell flies" "So why do you keep them in your window?"
This is a true story. I am at the pumps putting fuel in my smart car and a guy is on the other side of the pumps putting fuel in his truck. He leans to my side, looks at the car and starts asking me a couple questions about it. The last question was "I hear those run on solar power"? "Yes they do" I said as I continued to pump fuel into my little car. He drove off That much smarter that day.
I went to a fancy-dress party naked,as was the girl I gave a piggy-back to. Joe,who's party it was,asked me what I'd come as... "A tortoise,Joe." "Oh....who's that on your back?" [wait for it...] "Oh-that's Michelle".
Sorry hon. I haven't even spoken to a girl for yonks,let alone make one groan. ok,try this one; Did you know Albert Einsteins rapper name was MC Squared?
Pure bull tooth. Ever had one? I beat mine! I just pulled it out myself. No complications either. On another note what is: HELLYESNESSES? SICKASSNESSES? Nasty, Yet SEXY! Filthy, Though HOT! & Soilly, But BEAUTIFUL!
What did Van Gogh say when Gaugin asked him if he wanted another pint? "It's okay - I've got half 'ere..."