Is This Abuse?

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by Sharkman84, Dec 12, 2017.

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  1. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    It is a pretty ridiculous punishment though

    Even if it doesnt qualify as abuse, it seems like lazy parenting. That hour spent in time out could have been spent actually talking to the child.

    When my child is on punishment and cant play with his toys he uses that time to help me cook, help me do yard work, etc. And I talk to him about his behavior while we do it. He learns a skill / the value of hard work and we connect. Win/win
     
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  2. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I am well aware that this could be a fictitious, troll post, as i am about many other posts on HF...but I gave my feeling and reaction any way....and would have reacted the same way if i saw it on a big fictitious screen in a movie house.....only I did not insult or attack anyone for how they felt about it.

    thanks, Kerri....love to you!
     
  3. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Dont you think thats a little contradictory?

    First paragraph you use the term armchair psychologists, last paragraph you say unless you have raised kids, you dont know what the fuck you are talking about.

    What about a qualified psychologist that has never raised any kids?

    And what is raising kids? Experienced gained only as a parent, as an adult? LOLz

    You still dont get it do you? You dont think there are a few big whopping secrets about the female half of the population when they are two to six years old, that maybe only 1 in 100 guys ever gets to see. What were you doing at that age? Playing cowboys and indians?

    You give the - you can only have a clue about parenting if you have been one spiel to someone in real life - in front of your daughters, and they still give a little smirk to each other behind your back

    Winky smiley
     
  4. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Research is ongoing...research is bullshit
     
  5. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Research hasnt proven anything.

    More harm than good? In some areas of a persons life, in others more good than harm.

    We never learn from negative reinforcement?

    100 guys go through this same situation, 20 grow up to never really give a shit about it, 30 grow up to have a spanking fetish, 10 to have a nudism fetish, 10 grow up to be overly enthusiastic barefooters becuase at the time they were also baredoot as well as naked ans the floor was cold amd wet and that felt good, 5 end up with a drug addiction and like to use that story to try get free methadone, the remaing 25 think about it from time to time but are otherwise normal
     
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  6. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Research hasnt proven anything.

    More harm than good? In some areas of a persons life, in others more good than harm.

    We never learn from negative reinforcement?

    100 guys go through this same situation, 20 grow up to never really give a shit about it, 30 grow up to have a spanking fetish, 10 to have a nudism fetish, 10 grow up to be overly enthusiastic barefooters becuase at the time they were also baredoot as well as naked ans the floor was cold amd wet and that felt good, 5 end up with a drug addiction and like to use that story to try get free methadone, the remaing 25 think about it from time to time but are otherwise normal
     
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  7. Kerri

    Kerri Members

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    Yes actually there’s mountains of research on child development in this area. It’s unequivocally detrimental
     
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  8. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    If it was something that happened all the time as a form of punishment (spanking when naked, humiliating you by making you go into the corner naked, etc) then it was abuse. I personally think it's abusive, to humiliate anyone for any amount of time, and for a kid especially, their parent making them stand in a corner naked sounds really strange, if you ask me.
     
  9. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I went through humiliation as a youngin'. I would never humiliate anyone -ever, child or grownup. When you are told as a child to shut up-children are to seen and not heard by those you wish to interact with--takes awhile to figure out what in the hell was wrong with me. Humiliation strikes at the heart of ones being. Of course other children had/have it worse than I ever did, via starvation, beatings, etc---that perspective is not lost on me.
     
  10. Deidre

    Deidre Follow thy heart

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    Spanking a naked fourth grader (ten years old is fourth grade-ish) and then making him stand in time out while still naked, is definitely abusive. If a babysitter did this, we would all think that, so just because someone has the label of “parent,” doesn’t make it less strange and wrong.

    Also, why is it okay to hit kids and call it discipline when we would all go ballistic if our bosses for example, smacked us around for showing up late or some other infraction? Smacking a kid shows laziness on the form of a parent and calculatingly humiliating a kid, is abuse.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2018
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  11. storch

    storch banned

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    Any parent who forces their kid to stand naked in a corner does so because they understand full well exactly what the psychological effect of such a thing will be; otherwise they wouldn't do it, right? Right! You can go ahead and try to convince yourself that such degradation is a teaching tool, but it's simply degradation, and what the kid will learn is that their "parent" is both able and willing to degrade them. And what better way to create a bond of mutual respect?
     
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  12. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

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    The one thing hinted at but not mentioned is why was he disciplined then? Was he back talking through a closed door? Was mom in the bathroom? Did he backtalk a couple hours before and she waited till she knew he would be naked? All these things make a big difference on the level of abuse vs. Discipline. Also how open was the family with nudity, they clearly weren't nudists but were they told to cover up when walking out of the shower to the bedroom? From the info I say not abuse but I think the mom should be the one seeing the shrink not the kid.
     
  13. Deidre

    Deidre Follow thy heart

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    All it does is scare a kid into submission. Instilling fear doesn’t really teach discipline. It just teaches a kid to fear their parents. I feared my own father because he would hit me, but it didn’t teach me anything other than to fear him.
     
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  14. storch

    storch banned

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    It's true that there are some unknowns in this case. However, the OP did say: "I’ve had a feeling for a long time she somehow got off on seeing me naked. It was only ever me that copped it, my brother and sister got spanked but never kept naked."

    He makes it sound like it wasn't a one-time thing, and that he was singled out. Maybe he's lying. But that's neither here nor there in this discussion. Even hypothetically, you don't stand a kid naked in a corner for any reason. Kind of a no-brainer.
     
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  15. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    HF members wont charge him $300 an hour
     
  16. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    It's hard to say unless we have more background--do OP's parents often engage in bizarre humiliating punishment? Is this a pattern? It is not easy to take one story told from one (child's) point of view, and with no other context, and verify whether or not it is abusive.

    I don't think spanking is the only/most effective punishment in any situation (and for some kids it may not even act as a punishment), but an occasional swat on the bottom certainly does not qualify as abuse.
     
  17. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    ....or....the OP just started it to fap over
     
  18. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    Well, if we never answered any threads that the OP started to fap over, well, then, this would place wouldn't exist.
     
  19. storch

    storch banned

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    Speaking of context, I'd be interested in hearing anyone's idea of a situation in which standing a ten year old kid in the corner naked for an hour is okay.
     
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  20. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    Truth be told, I missed the hour part!
     
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