Is My Boyfriend's Friend Attracted to Me?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by selbaj, Mar 2, 2018.

  1. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    a
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2018
  2. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    From someone who is now married to a guy who was once ''just'' my good friend, it would seem he's into you. :blush:
     
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  3. Kerri

    Kerri Members

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    He’s definitely into you. Take that as a compliment. It does feel good to be desirable. Just be careful about your emotional attachment to this guy if you want to stay in your current relationship or you respect the relationship that he’s in
     
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  4. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    I agree with you. It surely does feel good. And I really do not have any emotional attachments, he just attracts me and I really do not tend to do anything. It is just interesting and it makes me feel desirable. Thank you. :)
     
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  5. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Wonder if you responded to him, if he would run and tell his friend?
     
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  6. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    Well, everything is possible.
    I asked myself similar question. If he did something more than this, e.g. tried to kiss me or something like that, do I tell my boyfriend? I mean, I probably would if it was not his friend, but this way my guilt would probably kick in and I would not know what to do.
    Telling him would mean compromising both my relationship and their friendship, so probably no and I think it is same for him.
    Nobody does someting without a reason, so it would put him, too in a hard situation, I think.
    But, you can never be sure what would someone else do in that situation, this is just my opinion. Maybe I, too, would do just opposite, you can never know for sure, but looking from this perspective I say no.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2018
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  7. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    I think it is somewhat telling that you're thinking about it this much, to be honest. You might love your bf, but are you ''in love'' with him? Sure, it's flattering to have other guys flirt with us, but when we spend a lot of time thinking about one guy over our bf/spouse, then it might be time to really assess why that is.
     
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  8. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    No, I am really not. But in the light of those events that happend, I asked myself a few questions, amongst them is that if something more happened do I tell, because , well I was feeling both weird and attracted to him and I felt guilt. And to clear it a little for myself, I decided to ask here for your opinions. I really would not choose him over my bf, but after a really long time I noticed that someone might be into me and that just made me feel certain way. :)
     
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  9. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    I understand, and didn't mean to imply that you weren't into your own bf...but, these things have a way of getting away from us, so if it continues...like he keeps flirting, and you keep feeling a certain way, you might want to talk with your bf about it. It might be hard having that kind of conversation, but if you're close enough, then total honesty is best. I don't think he's a very good friend of your bf's if he's hitting on you, though.
     
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  10. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    The thing I know is that he is one of the rare people that my bf can count on in every situation. They really are good friends and there for each other. But sometimes you just feel attracted to the wrong person. We could say then that I am a bad gf , too. But still, I give my best to make my bf happy and loved. I think these things are not all black and white and it is hard to say anything.

    And for the first part, you are right about it. I should be open with my bf, especially if it crosses line between subtle flirting and obvious hitting on me.
     
  11. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    Well, I look at people's actions. Not their words. I'm sure this guy comes across as being there for his friend. But, it makes you wonder, when he's flirting with his good friend's gf. That's just not cool, to me. Hope whatever is meant to be, works out for you. :)
     
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  12. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    Once, my really good friend (I would say he was my best friend, but actually we had a falling out after he told me I was not his best friend, that in fact someone else was) had a girlfriend. I sort of got that sense that she was checking me out, or that she was somehow interested in cheating with me. It was distinct despite being very brief. What I did was simply keep my distance and wait for the feelings to pass. I didn't cheat with her and I wouldn't have betrayed that friendship, though I've often thought of her since the time he told me that I was not his best friend. We are no longer friends and now I'm curious what it would have been like to fuck her. :)
     
  13. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

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    Shoulda Boned her !
     
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  14. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    :D :D

    Trust you.. :D
     
  15. Twogigahz

    Twogigahz Senior Member

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    I think you're walking on thin ice. By not saying something to this guy who is way beyond into you, you're kind of leading him on. Yeah, it's cool to have the attention and the secret looks and such, but it's clear that he wants more from you. Straight guys don't really have girls for just friends - there is always attraction there, it's just the nature of the beast. So, you need to choose what you need to do - sneak around with this guy, just do it a few times and get it out of both of your systems, feel guilty and risk your present relationships, or simply say to him that you're really touched by his attention but right now your heart is with another and give you some personal space. The longer it goes, the harder is will be for both of you, and the more he thinks he has a shot at you. Hasn't anyone ever told you that men are nothing but trouble??
     
  16. wilsjane

    wilsjane Nutty Professor HipForums Supporter

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    While the initial thread was quite long, it was purely about flirtatious feelings and nothing about either of the guys as real people. Getting to know the other guy better (and I don't mean in bed) may be the only way to find out what they have in common, such as tastes in food, music,hobbies and ambitions in life. Only then will she be able to decide how to deal with the future. Neither man nor woman can live on cream pies alone.
     
  17. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    Ew! I see what you did there! :D
     
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  18. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

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    He might be "into" you but it sounds like he also knows the limitations since you're already taken. I have a girlfriend and she and I are very happy in this relationship, but that doesn't mean I don't have special feelings for my female best friend. She knows that because I've asked her out a couple time in the past. But what's important is that she and and I are still very good friends, and also that I've since gotten into a happy relationship with someone.

    Maybe your friend likes you more than he "should", but if he stays respectable, then I don't see why it should become a problem, unless you make it a problem.
     
  19. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    I believe it is in our nature to ask ourselves what if we did something different. You probably did the right thing. If they are not in a relationship anymore, maybe you should try to get in touch with her. :)
     
  20. selbaj

    selbaj Members

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    I do not want to sneak around, but on the other hand, having that kind of attention is pleasing. But, sooner or later , I will probably have to tell him that.
    Of course they did, I just did not listen, like all of us girls don't, lol. :)
     

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