Incapable of falling in love with a man

All I feel is lust towards men. This leads me to believe I'm now incapable of falling in love with a man. Love is boring to me. I think I can only fall in love with a woman, because that's novel. It would have to be an open relationship though.

 

If that's where you're at then so be it. Accept it and don't judge yourself. If you are honest with guys about this from the door the you are not hurting anyone. If you are concerned about it in regards to emotional well being, then seek help to work out why you are like that and how you got there but I still don't think you should approach it as a negative. It is what it is.

 

Is lack of novelty the only reason? Do you know all of the reasons why?

 

Well my first relationship I was in love but I got my heart broken. It was a really silly situation looking back. I refused to have sex with him for some reason so he dumped me. I was mad at him but that's because I had the mentality of a 5 year old. Now I have no hard feelings towards him of course. He was a bit of a misogynist though: he said he would never show a woman he loved pornography!

My second relationship was fun. I was a stripper and he was the strip club DJ. He had just gotten back from Iraq where he was a Staff Sergeant for the Army. He was a cute Dominican. We had fun riding around the gritty areas of North Carolina, looking at the crack whores and boarded up crack houses. We found one street, Liberty Street, with four prostitution rings on it. I met all his family members. He was extremely talkative, he could talk to the bank teller for two hours. At the time I was kinda shy so I didn't like that. But we had fun. But I wasn't in love with him. He was more of a friend. My mom called him a Bob Pernell, someone who's more of a friendzoned type. We did have sex though. He was my first.

My third relationship started out great. White guy from a small town in the Midwest. We were both LaVeyan Satanists, so we had a great deal in common. I loved the road trips to Ohio. His dad was racist and didn't let any black people go to his house, but he buckled and let me in. I felt flattered. I loved the mountains, the Ohio River, the restaurants on the deck by the river, renting the PT Cruiser, it was so romantic. When he moved to DC, things went sour. He became extremely moody and distant. I thought I was getting on his nerves, but it turns out he has herpes! So I guess that's why he got so bitter at the world. He always used to say "it's just one thing after another." He broke his glasses one day and broke down crying. So he moved out and I haven't seen him since.

I think maybe that last relationship might have soured me against loving men. But I also think it's the lack of novelty. Men don't have boobs lol just flat chests. Besides, women are more suited for relationships overall than men.

 

I am not offended by this but am truly curious...^^How so?

 

To interpret things optimistically, perhaps your just jaded right now and want to be single because your exhausted by the drama.

You have to admit, it sounds like the first relationship was bad timing and you just being at different stages of emotional readiness for a relationship to go sexual. That's not a scenario that reflected badly on either of you it was timing and circumstances of when you met.


Misogyny, I thought was the hatred or anger of women, not just having a quirk about not wanting to watch porn with girlfriend/ wife.

 

Ain't no thang but a chicken wang, baby.

Although, I was saying the same kind of thing about only being able to fall in love with men until I ran into a chick with my exact specifications!

LOL

 

Honestly, it sounds like you are too temperamental for true love. Maybe even too self-focused.

Monogamy isn't for everyone though. It's unfair that we act like it's the default path or correct path.

Just try to be fair and clear about what you want from/with others; and try to find your own happiness.

Why did you make this thread, if I may ask?

 

Most women want love while most men just want sex.

 

I don't have a temper at all. In fact I wish I were more feisty. I am though very self-focused.

I started this thread to get it out in the open.

 

Blanket statement is wrong!

 

Okay, I just wanted to hear your thoughts on it. I don't really agree with you but I will assume that you have good reasons for thinking that way and leave it at that.

 

How do you figure?

 

There are lots of men like myself that find sex with love is way better then without and there are lots of women like yourself who don't want love and just want sex! Not saying one way is right are wrong. Just saying I don't agree with your statement. Not all men are one way and not all women are one way.

 

:iagree:
If not love at least some intellectual, romantic or emotional connection.

I'll take casual sex over nothing, but the physical factor becomes much more important at that point...fuck-buddy better be damn hot.

 

No, I didn't mean hot tempered. I mean, it seems like your interests change often. You aren't extremely consistent.

I don't know your age, but actually, studies show that trend is reversing. Among today's twenty-somethings, it's the guys that are more likely to want a serious relationship and a family.

I don't think those things have so much to do with innate sex drives, as much as societal roles; but how can you really tell?

 

I second this notion, I saw it in a study as well about the trend of men actually wanting more romance-love in the relationship rather that being a player for sex.

The article/study also went on to postulate that the reason for this is that more women are working career women now, and so the roles are reversed where men are at home and feel neglected and women are stressed about their jobs, and that takes away from the emotional mindset needed for GREAT sex orgasmability (made up that word) and general time spent with the partner.


My belief that men and women aren't so different after all, just that they need to live in each others shoes for a bit, is proving to be more correct everyday.

Needless to say, since you can probably infer by my statements above, I don't agree with this statement.

I will suggest that I think different actions trigger different interpretations in meaning among the gender divide, and that at different stages in people's lives men and women want different things.

Certain age demographics (both sexes) have self proposed fantasies about wanting to settle down at ___ age, and might be targeting the wrong demographic for accomplishing that goal with. It doesn't mean that entire gender isn't seeking true love.

Also, I know a guy who is the female equivalent of a tease and has always gotten along flirtatiously with the opposite sex dating back to 2nd grade. However, he has problems because he WON'T have sex of any kind because he's a devout Christian, and so his girlfriends get mad and leave.

I also know another guy who isn't religious about sex, and has gone through tons of women and at first glance you'd think he's a player, but he's not he just hasn't found the right girl for him. His problem now is that he's got a long list, and girls are assuming things about him now.

So it's not all cut and dry as you think Samantha.

 

pick you up tommorrow night samantha 7 30 sharp