This is something very personal and private for me that I've been hesitant to post about anywhere else except here. Long story short, I am trapped in a relationship that I cannot leave unless I want to be homeless. I live with my boyfriend at the moment and because we both have our names on all the credit card and bank accounts, and he cut up all the cards, I can't get away and access them and run away. I don't know what to do, i want to leave, but the only way I could do that is if I became homeless, he ultimately has control over the money so I can't get it.
Perhaps you can go back to your parents' house and live there - are you still in communication with them?
go to your bank. there is a certain amount you can withdraw without having him Co-sign. once you get out, since he isnt legally your husband, take your name off the accoutnt and see if you can withdraw your part of the money in the bank. it cant be that hard. do you have to job?
First things first, call the police. Second, get ahold of your banks and explain the situation. Then locate a good Odessy House in your area, you should be able to google one if you include your city or town name in the search.
Good luck on getting anything done at the bank. I tried to get my ex off of things 4 times, never worked even when he went in there every single time and signed the damned papers. Maybe it was the shitty bank. He ended up ruining my credit. Anyway, I'm in the same situ right now. I'm not working and my boyfriend has all the money, everything is in his name. I don't know if I really want to leave or not, but if I did want to leave, I couldn't. That is my own stuipd fault. I could go back and live with my folks, but why would I do that at 31. Start all over with no house, when I have a perfectly good house here? Nutso. Anyway, my advice is to open a new account in only your name and try to put as much money into it as possible. If you can, get a second job or an under the table gig to put money away so you can get out on your own. Do you have anywhere you can go? A friends house? Anywhere? At your age and in this situ, it isn't as bad. You should leave now before it gets worse.
Ah jeez. Never ever take out credit cards and bank accounts together with your partner. Not even when you've got a ring on your finger. I mean, opening one joint account to help pay the bills easily is one thing, but sharing it all is a disaster. No offense, but next time you really need to know better, okay? Take your name off his accounts, or call which ever financial institution you do business with and ask them to remove your boyfriend's name. You may have to sign a letter to take his name off of your accounts or answer some security questions since you don't have your actual credit card number, but you should definitely never let someone control your financial livelihood. Best of luck sister.
Also, you can always contact a woman's help hotline. They are used to these kinds of situations and deal with them all of the time, hell even if you walked into an abused women's clinic they'd help you get away.
Actually... I'm on the other side of a comparible situation. There is nothing in my relationship with my girlfriend anymore, so technically I could just leave her. But I can't do that... I have loved her for many years and since she has no money of her own, no job at all and we have two children. I just have to stick with her because I couldn't bare making her homeless and my children hungry.
