how much of a jerk am i?

ok, so this is my situation. i had a Gf who was in another state going to school i had been with her for about a year. then i ended up falling for a local girl and have been with her everyday for the last 2-2.5 years so i broke up with my distant girl right before she came back home because i didnt want to do that to her and be sneaky and have two girlfriends my entire life i have never done a girl wrong this is the first time i had ever cheated or been the bad guy in a relationship. and i was only with both girls for about 4 months before i realized i was with the local girl now and broke up with the other.
but now this is where i become a bad person. so this local girl is actually one of my old good friends X-fiancee they dated for about 3- 4 years. we dont hang out that much anymore but once in a while ill meet him for a beer or something. i guess they were broken up for about 6 months before we started doing our thing. he doesnt know i dont want him to know and i dont want to tell him. but i feel bad when i think about it cuz i dont even like to see him anymore. we both new each others other. Now his X my GF we are together everyday and years later we still hide i do love her very much i dont think i have ever been into another girl as much i didnt even really like her when she was with my friend but then when we started hanging out i felt like she was the girl i was always looking for i wish i met her 10 years earlier and before him. she doesnt want him to know either. he had actually never told me they broke up and till this day its knda weird but he still doesnt talk like they are apart and like i said we are together all the time and i know they dont hang out anymore. i have helped him out with some things over the last year i think he is a good guy. i am friends with him and his family and stuff so it makes it that much harder i dont want them all to think im some big jerk looser and i know how bad it will be when its found out that we have been together for years and have been hiding it right in front of everyones face. i told her we should make it so it looks like we are just starting to hang out and act like it evolves into a relationship. i know ide be mad and think my friend was a jerk if i was in his shoes. this sucks cuz i feel bad and it has been going on for a long time but i cant just tell him cuz alot of things would go sour. i definatley love her more than i have ever loved anyone before she still gives me butterflies in my stomach when i think about her.
i know im a bad bad person.

 

Bros b4 hoes

 

yeah i know but they were apart when i stepped in, she actually made the first step down our bad road. its not like they were together and i hooked up with his girl

 

make a decsion - is the guy more important than the female, or is the female more important than the male?
decide what is more important to you, and the answer is obvious.

if you have to hide your relationship - it is doomed from the start.

who broke off the engagement? if he broke it off - then he probably doesn't have an issue with who see sees now; if she broke it off, then he is going to jump to conclusions that you where the cause.

and even if you where the cause - if her relationship with you is more important, does it really matter what he thinks?

and you're prob not going to be able to keep it a secret for much longer- the longer you decive the more damage it will do.

 

i know it is gonna come out sooner or later and i know when it comes out the wrong way it will be way worse.
i definatley wasnt the cause of there breakup
but in the begining of there relationship she was told she wasnt allowed to hang out with me and i dont know why i never wanted to hang out with her we just got baked a couple of times cuz she stopped over.
i never wanted to know anything about there relationship but i think she might have given the ring back but i dont know i guess i want to ask her now.
if i had to choose i think i would(hating to say this but go with the girl) i want someone in my life to share with and to be my other half and we get along really well.
life is short i would hope i wouldnt be hated for ever
i wish he would just ask me because going against all im doing at the moment i am a very honest person and a very bad liar if he just asks me i wouldnt be able to lie.

 

This sentence actually needs to be at the beginning of your confession.

 

i knew Eve made Adam eat that apple when she was all naked and sexy

 

Haha, it's pretty hard to deny a woman of anything if she asks you when she's naked

'clean your teeth', sure thing baby

'rob that old lady', I hated her anyways

'get down and all fours and worship me', shall I woof?

'DO THE DISHES!!', ... uhh, I..., argh tits, you are an evil genius.

 

It sucks being hooked on a woman.
Cuz then They have all the power.
I can't deny n when I like one I care for her needs more than my own .
I don't think that's a good thing either

 

Haha you got that right. :cheers2:

But I know how you feel. I found out a friend of mine was dating my ex and I was pissed/hurt pretty badly. I was also worried knowing how sneaky and that my ex had told me he had cheated on everyone he dated. But she's with someone different now.

But in your case you probably aren't going to be breaking up with her anytime soon. I think you have already made your choice, so either tell your friend or stop talking to him. Either way you'll end up hurting him.

 

finally a man who gets us

 

Never understood the " don't date friend's exes " part.

If they weren't together, you did absolutely nothing wrong.

 

you really ought to fess up, you know you ought to fess up, but you're too scared to. I don't think you necessarily have to lay everything on the line to him, but just most of it.

How about "hey, there is something I want to tell you. (her name) and I have been dating for a while now. I've wanted to tell you, but I was worried you'd be mad".

If he asks "how long is a while" you can say "about" how long.

There is a good chance he already knows too, but isn't saying.

 

Depending on what she looks like, some women are actually easier to say "no" to when they are naked

 

It is funny as shit hearing a chick say this

 

Sisters b4 misters...?

 

I watched this one stand up comedian who said during sex in
bed with a woman he would drink bleach at that point

 

Bros b4 Hoes. Always.

 

I assume you two go out on dates in public. People will see you and people gossip. In other words, it is better you tell your friend before someone else does. It will soften the blow.

 

well for the last couple years we have stayed out of the public eye as much as possible. especially in the city always out of town to eat and hang out in random parks on sunny days.

i think this does need to come to a head though. unless im gonna marry her i think im gonna end it. which would make me sad because i do feel i care more for her than i have cared for anyone before and we have been together everyday for a long time thinking about it atleast two years now. i have been doing alot of thinking latley and i feel crazy nausea in my gut.