Do You Haiku?

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by Deidre, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    Actually----this is one consonant too many for a combination of 3 haiku put together-----which is more or less a variation of a tanka----one consonant too many is called ji-amari in Japanese, and is acceptable as exception if the poem works well enough.

    Or----I may have miscounted----having had just a little too much to drink tonight...
     
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  2. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    No, it is Wool's style
    He has got a lot to say
    It is a great style
     
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  3. Total Darkness

    Total Darkness 100% Cocoa

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    jab, cross, jab, left hook
    always being elusive
    keeping my hands up
     
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  4. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    My first Half Moon, man
    cactus juice straight to the brain
    soul open--feeling good.


    You know----I don't compose haiku in English----but I thought I'd try----though this one, without explanation, would be understood by only a select group of people. But the experience was worthy of a poetic moment, and it just doesn't seem to be a Japanese one...

    I went to my first Half Moon Ceremony over the weekend----a type of peyote ceremony. Actually it was also my first peyote ceremony of any kind. It was incredible and left me feeling good for several days afterwards.
     
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  5. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    I have heard of that
    Takes you to the spirit world
    Have not been there yet

    Too bad he's so close
    It's been knocking at my door
    All day long all night

    The door is still locked
    Many keys on his key ring
    Looking frantically
     
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  6. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    Yeah, it's closer than you think
    Inside out, Outside-
    in everywhere

    Lifting the veil
    of reality
    --a peek, a sense, a shadow
     
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  7. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    There are flocks of them
    The crows are his tattle tail
    Wish they'd go away
     
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  8. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Trying to be nice
    I feed them to appese them
    I hope it's working
     
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  9. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    Minute cactus buds
    becoming hairs
    of a furry green, green snake.

    the furry green snake comes
    undulating to
    the peyote songs

    To water-drum beat
    no scales just hair
    an intense cactus green

    (One of the things I saw in the Peyote Ceremony.)
     
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  10. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    The inner journey
    A place I want to visit
    Maybe find myself
     
  11. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah, I know, everyone tells me my poetry sucks.
     
  12. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    I never said that
    It's very original
    You cause me to think
     
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  13. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    No---actually I dug it---and defended it as a ji-amari tanka------coincidentally I was just now thinking of a response to that one----give me a few minutes...
     
  14. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    Ok---here's a Tanka form of Haiku:

    Nippon no dansei

    Ima no otoko wa
    omanko wa
    yarahen ya!

    fuman kawaiko-chan
    manzuri ya

    (This is actually a recently developed social problem in Japan----the males are becoming to shy, or are more interested in fantasy worlds, so they aren't courting---so the birth rate has dropped considerably...)

    The Japanese Male

    The man of today
    won't fuck
    at all!!

    Frustrated cuties
    resort to 10,000 fingers!


    (10,000 fingers is a Japanese euphemism for female... Well, you can figure it out.)
     
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  15. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Ten thousand fingers
    Talk about an orgasm
    It would last for days
     
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  16. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    Ten thousand delightful fingers,
    Is a euphemism for infinity,
    The highest number they knew.
     
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  17. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    The swallows are back
    Using the same nest again
    Swooping on the attack
     
  18. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    Throw open the sashes,
    Throw open the doors,
    Chase the bats out of the attic!
     
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  19. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    My fave of yours so far. :)
     
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  20. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Thank you so much D
    Mountain Valley Wolf helped me
    True Visionary
     

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