Well this may be a long story but I have to vent somewheres. I've been dating the girl for about a year, things have been up and down just like any relationship. We took a break for about 3 weeks cause she had to deal with some shit (gettin kicked out of her dads place cause I got caught with possession, car accident, death in her family etc.) We recently got back together and moved in together. She had a job at Wendys but they fired her because she took a couple days off to go to the hospital and find out she was pregnant with my child.(Yippee Im gonna be a daddy!!!) I've been trying to get a job since June when I got laid off with no luck so I'm on welfare, which fuckin sucks, believe me. So we've been sharing and goin halfs on everything. Its just, I paid an extra 100$ outta my check for her half of the rent, and she bought cigarettes and a bus pass for both of us to share. I don't hang that 100$ over her head at all, but she insists on holdin the cigarettes and bus pass over mine. Like I ask her to use the bus pass and she freaks out and tells me that I'm using her stuff more than she is. And I go to roll cigarettes and she freaks out even more cause she says I smoke way too much. I do smoke a lot but I don't think it matters cause I paid her half of the rent. I should be able to smoke as much as I want. And she's changed alot, like she used to want sex just about as much as me and now she hardly does at all and she's explained that its not me its her bc of the shit thats goin on and her bein pregant and everything, I try to start somethin and she's all like "dont get frisky or night" likes its the worst thing in the world for me to want that. If I get some one night and then try the next she's gets all mad sayin I'm starting to become a horndog and once isnt enough for me. And I kinda do get pissed about it. I do respect her and her wants and needs but I have needs too. And she's become less affectionate with me too, she used to be all cute and cuddly, now she gets mad if I try to kiss her too much. I tell her that it takes some gettin used to, but she says it don't and times change. That's what started our first big fight, I was trying to start somethin wit her in bed and she said dont get frisky and I was like "Oh yeah like thats the worst thing that could happen" I know stupid but thats the way she acts like it is. Another thing, the other night this girl from across the road (Melly shes only 14) came over and asked the landlords wife to go to the store for her to buy her smokes, and the Linda didnt feel like goin cause it was rainin and like 9pm. So they asked me If I would, and I said yes. So as I'm walkin out of the house my gf just got home from her friends house and was sittin in the car talkin to her friend. I said I was goin to the store for Linda and before I even get a chance to say anything about Melly, she calls bullshit and calls me a liar and thinks theres something going on between me and melissa and speeds off without even givin me time to explain anything. Like I was goin to the store for linda and just because I didn't mention melissa doesn't make me a total liar does it? She didn't come home that night. The next day I was obviously pissed, so I was tryin to find some weed to kinda ease the tension. I was talking to a buddy of mine on fb about it but he was out. So I asked her if she knew where to find some cause my buddy was out. She said she didn't know yet, so I said fine I don't need it that bad, I'll just go look for jobs uptown. I left my fb open. She came home and was still way pissed off about it, sayin I was lyin and she dont trust me and shit. I left my fb open and she read that I was goin uptown to try to get weed. If she woulda read the whole thing she woulda read that he was out, and thats why I asked her if she knew where to find some. She just freaked the fuck out again, and said I was lyin tellin different stories. Now today was our yr anniversary and I had a job interview and I told her about it, I said it was at 4 she must have misunderstood and thought I said tomorrow, cause when I asked if I could use her bus pass so I could go to the interview TODAY AT 4 again she freaked out and told me I was a liar cause I was tellin her different stories everytime. We got in a huge fight cause she was sayin I was lyin and I was sayin she was puttin words in my mouth and when I tryed to talk it out with her normally she just freaked out even more and started hittin me. And I was tryin to block it, apparently she told her friends I hit her, if I did I didn't mean to. So shes stayin at her moms for a couple days. It just hurts me cause I love her so fuckin much and I want her to be happy with me, and for the kids sake, I'm not tryin to stress her out, but everything I do just makes her more and more angry, and everything I say just makes her think Im lying and tellin different stories when I'm not. And she won't talk to me like a normal person without freakin about somethin. I thought having a kid would stregnthen our relationship not destroy it. And when I try to talk it out with her,communicate with her, she just tells me to get away from her, cause it's a waste of breath explaining anything cause I never understand, and every time she talks to me she hates me more and more, and I don't even do anything to deserve it. I never understand because she never explains it, without gettin all pissed. I'm at a loss, I don't know what else I can do, I'll just have to give her a couple days. Maybe she'll want to communicate with me more after she's calmed down a bit.
About the sex part: unless the doctor explicitly told her not to (and they won't do that unless they found something) then it's reasonably safe to have gentle sex (no deep penetration, uncomfortable or weird positions, yadda yadda yadda...). That being said, pregnancy is A MAJOR CHANGE not just physiologically but emotionally and psychologically as well. When my wife was pregnant we had sex exactly TWICE. That's two times within a 9-month period - which meant 9 months of no sex (except of course for those two times). Was it because she never got horny? NO. It was because every time she felt sexual pleasure she could feel contractions - and that SCARED her. There's no rationalizing away emotions. You can present a lot of valid scientific info on the safety of sex during pregnancy - but if the woman still doesn't feel like doing it, she will not feel like doing it. So what to do? You're sexually frustrated, what about your needs? Well, to put it bluntly, your sexual needs DO NOT COME FIRST. THEY CAN WAIT. Or you can jerk off. And there's nothing wrong with that. What's so wrong with jerking off because your pregnant partner is just not in the mood to satisfy your needs? Are you going to die if you don't get to stick it in her?
Also: remember what I said about how pregnancy is a MAJOR CHANGE? Pregnant women can be emotional, cranky, moody, irrational, they might crave for weird food at weird times, horny, frigid, etc. And the reality is: you either choose to put up with all that shit or you bail. Sometimes all you can do is just be there for her, whether she's being rational or not, whether she's treating you the way you think you deserve to be treated or not.
