Can a relatinship be built again after so much emotional stress?

Hmm its taken me a while to write here lol.
As you can tell i am new here, but i have been around a while, reading, fantastic place!

I have a problem on trying to build my marrage up again and i could do with some advice. I will start at the begining because alot of what has happened is reasons for alot of things that are happening now. So i am sorry if it will turn out long but i need to get it out.

We have been maried 6 yrs, got married 6 months after we met. (crazy for each other ) i fell pregnant pretty soon too so alot happened in a very short space of time. We were so happy and our relationship just got better and better.
Forward almost 2 years my mum passed away, it was a huge shock and totally unexpected. I was extreamly close to my parents, they were my life. She suffered a major stroke and died within 24 hours of collapsing. We were all by her bed till she took her last breath. I was devestated. I was also expecting our 2nd child.
From then on my life has never been the same again. After the birth of my son i suffered with post-natal depression then it was full blown depression.
My husband was amaizing and supported me so much, with a new born it was so hard on us all. I also had to try and support my dad who was now on his own (mum and dad were childhood sweethearts)
After a few months from mums death dad started to become ill. No one knew what was wrong with him, he was coughing up blood but doctors said there was nothing wrong and that he had a 'personality disorder' and should be put in to the Priory. So off he went, he was like a walking zombie further tests were done and it was found he had lung cancer.
This was so huge and so devestating. He was told he had a few months to live. Me my brother and sister were with him every single day back and forth to the hospice for months. We were drained out emotionaly and physically. My relationship with my husband began to take alot of strains.
Eventually dad moved in to my brothers house as he did not want to die in the hospice. Time went on and each day he would suffer more and more, it was heart breaking to watch my dad go from being the strongest man (in my eyes he was the best) he worked hard every single day, never had a day of sick in his life only to become bedridden and so weak. The final moment came when his breathing become so bad he could no longer swallow the morphine so he was very allert to what was happening. He was choking and holding on to us begging, trying to say he could not breathe. His worst nightmare came true. This is exactly how he did not want to die.
My depression become worse again and everyday has been difficult, but my husband and our boys have been my rock, they have kept me going. My husband gave up work to help support me because everything was too much.

Now i am in a better place, i no longer suffer with depression, i have bad days sometimes but we all do. Hubby is back at work now and i am at college part time so things are slowly but surely moving on.
However all the grieving time has pushed away our sex life so much so that its hardly existing. We cuddle every night when we go to bed, say our i love yous everyday but thats it. What we had does not exist. I am so self consious of my body, i am 3 times the size i was when we met and i dearly miss the passion. I know he feels the same way. We talk about it, he is so understanding, make promises that we will start going out together more but life with young children and routines, early nights are really not easy to overcome. We will argue and i blame him he blames me for the weight issue i have (i moan about my weight but have no motivation to do anything about it)
I would love to know what others think i should start working on (yes my weight lol) but what else? Its like we need to build a new relationship up all over again and to be honest its not that easy. Even when we do make love, its like, well its like being virgins again . I miss us laughing together and the passion we had oh boy do i miss that!
Any thoughts and ideas i'd really appreciate.

p.s i am sorry for such a long post & spelling errors iggy: but to make it clear on the state of mind i have had and why its been a strain also its helped me get alot out.

Thank you for reading if you lasted this long lol

 

Get your self esteem back! When you feel better about yourself, you will be better equipped to deal with rest. Obviously because of the dreadful shit that has happened recently your relationship has been put on the back burner. It's time to make a conscious effort to rekindle the old flame between you both. I know it won't be easy but I think the college thing can only be a help. You're out there with other people which can only be a beneficial. The less time you have to dwell on what are obviously serious issues the better. Remember that time is a great healer and you're partner obviously cares about you a great deal so "onwards and upwards"!

 

Thank you for your reply I guess things wont change over night and building my self esteem up is a one-step at a time process. I really need to start thinking about making changes for myslef. Go back to the gym, something that i have totally pushed out of my life for sometime. Maybe once i get into the swing of that i will start feeling better. I cant imagine it ever being better but i guess this is where i need to be strong and ride with it.

 

Whatever you want to change in life, you most likely can. It's good that you can see the problem. Work on your self esteem. Perhaps a counsellor or psychiatrist could help you. Turning your thoughts around from negative to positive is difficult, but it can be done.

Simple romantic things can spark up a relationship. It doesn't have to be boring. I'm sorry. My advice is terrible! It's all I could think of