Ok, gonna rant. It's long and you don't have to read. Just don't make any comments about how i should be leaving the husband and shit. We are married and with 3 kids. He's a good father, husband and provider. I'm not gonna leave him just because sex sucks. I just need to rant out of frustration once in awhile. And no i'm not looking for another guy to fuck. I don't cheat. And i won't unless he gave me the go ahead. Argh, sometimes i am just so depressed and frustrated with my sex life. Here's a bit about myself.... I have only been with 2 guys in my life because i've always been a shy girl. My first BF was a virgin and we lost it to each other. That relationship lasted a good few years before i called it quits because it wasn't going anywhere. Then shortly after that, i met my 2nd BF (who i'm now married to). He is so not a virgin and has slept around and partied alot when he was young. So me thinking, maybe a more experienced guy would = better sex. WRONG!!!! Seriously i had more kinky sex with the ex then with the husband. I don't know if it's because he's already done all the good stuff leaving me with nothing or he really is just this boring. This is my husband's idea of sex.... BJ then fuck. Switching maybe 2-3 position. Then done, sleep snore. This is what i want..... sex toy play, bondage, spanking, anal, dirty talk, hard pounding, cum on my tits, cum on my face, fucking somewhere else other then bed. Ofcorse it's hard when we have 3 small kids but this boring sex has been going on before we had kids. I always thought we would have more fun later on. Yeah right. Not now when there are kids. And get this, i don't even get to orgasm. He knows it but does he care, not really. Hey he got off, time for bed. Me, i sit there not able to sleep cause i'm still horny. Nice right. I don't even have time to get myself off when he's at work cause i'm too busy with the kids. Most of the time i'm horny and frustrated. If this is how sex is always gonna be then i'm tired of it already. Have tried to discuss it with him but he don't like to have serious talks. He says he's tired because he has to work. He only wants to get off and go to sleep. Like i'm not tired taking care of 3 small kids at home all day. I have had no fucking friends since i was 16 (HS drop out), i'm 34 now. I have no one else to talk to. Sometimes i look forward to when the kids grow up so i can grow old and die. That's how tired i am of my life. No vacation, no break and no sick days when you're a stay at home mom. The husband don't believe in letting someone else take care of the kids so we can go on a trip. He says, there will be lots of time later when they are older. Yeah, when i'm older too right. What if i want to go on a trip where we can fuck more without getting interrupted by the kids. I don't think i want to do that when i'm all old and shit. I probably don't even wanna sleep with him anymore by then. If you say i'm selfish cause i wanna spend more alone time with the husband then yeah i am. Is it such a bad thing. I swear if i know being married to him would be boring routine sex for the rest of my life then i think i would have passed. And although i will not cheat on him with another guy. I am hoping to find myself a girl friend one day. Never been with a girl but has always wanted to. But again, being a stay at home mom with 3 kids = never time for myself, never leaving the house. Hell, i don't even know how to go about finding a special friend. I'm just sad
http://www.adameve.com/ rite aid drug store also carries a vibrator, in the condom section.. its fits on your finger.. good luck.. Im kinda carpal tunnel burned out on advice right mow..
Tried that, done that, don't wanna bother or waste my time anymore as he don't like to have any type of serious conversations. Even about sex.
Haha, i'm thinking a special girl friend with benefits. I already have a box full of toys and a computer full of porn
ok this puts more work on you but it might help you out in the end... idea list. 1. kick kids out of house... AKA over to a friends house. then dinner and just start stripping and have wild sex all over the house 2. When in bed.. after he is done start sucking him off... if you get him horny again he will finish you off. 3. tell him you want a 3 way with another girl... IDK what man would say no to that. 4. When giving a bj hold his dick so he comes on your face or over your tits... although these are small steps they might help get things spiced up in your love life.. I wish the best of luck to you lame sex sucks..
Good ideas whit one...might I also add What if one boring old day while you guys are watching tv, you go into the bedroom, grab your toys and go back to where he is. Start getting yourself off IN FRONT of him. It always turns my bf on to see me get myself off. If he gets antsy and tries to climb on top of you, make the poor sap wait. Say "uh uh, you get to watch first". Make him NEED you. FORCE him to give you what you want by doing it yourself in front of him. Just a thought. I hope everything works out for you...boring sex is well...BORING!!!!!
AznMom..... First let me say I live across the country and in no way am I trying to pursue anything. Next, allow me to be completely candid with you. Yesterday me and my current girlfriend went out. She threw on a nice dress and high heels, and we got out on the town. She actually wants sex more often then me by far before any of you think this is a typical guy complaint. This is what happened...... She has a couple drinks and starts touching my crotch, something she does to let me know she wants sex. On the way home she does it again. I let her pull it out and play with it, which she obliges. So I pull into a nice gated apt complex, completely dark, and she shuts down. She says she wants to go home. All I wanted was a change of pace. Maybe have a little risky sex for a change. This is a typical day in our sex life. Her idea of good sex is a little oral, followed by sex, and attempting to orgasm at the same time. It never changes, and any attempt to do so just ends in frustration. I told you all this to say that I understand what you are going through. The sad part is that the riff between you and your husband sexually is pretty big. Add the fact that he doesn't seem to give a shit about your happiness leads me to say good luck. I like anal, rimming, getting rimmed, cumming all over, fucking other places except the bedroom, and a lot of other things. The likelihood of her crossing over to my side of the fence is slim to none. I will give it some time, as we haven't been dating that long, but I refuse to go my whole life unhappy in probably the most important aspect of a relationship outside of friendship. This might make you a little irritated, but this is my problem with the world today. IMO, too many people size up their companion by the "provider" title, instead of compatibility. What difference does it make if you live comfortable if every day of your life you are frustrated? Is it worth it really? Would you do it again knowing what you know? To me all that happens is you become old and bitter. I see it all the time. Some hot wife walking along with her family. She is well built and well dressed but her husband isn't even in her league. This catches my eye, then I see the car they get into, and I just think..."oh, I see". It's sad that the world has come to this. No one wants to build an empire together anymore, they just look for an opportunity. Not saying this is totally you, just that the "provider" title is something that has led to a lot of divorces by age 40-45. When said woman's kids are grown and she is left with the relationship and no need for the provider title anymore. I am not saying this is solely the woman's fault here. The man needs to look in the mirror and realize when he isn't compatible either. Guys run after trophy wives all the time, even if they have nothing in common with her. They just want the best looking girl they can get. I get one shot at this life thing. I am gonna do everything I can to find my equal. Every day that passes is one more day closer to my foot being in the grave. You need to have a serious talk with your husband. Your frustration level isn't going to go away. It's going to grow and grow until it turns to resent. That's when it starts effecting your relationship anyway no matter how hard you try to prevent it from happening. Good luck AznMom. I hope we are still cool.
I totally understand what you're getting at picollo. I didn't marry him because he is a good provider. I married him because i really do love him. I've always been a very shy girl so i never had many BFs. My 1st relationship lasted 5 years. My 2nd BF (the husband) was originally gonna just be my re-bound guy since it was only like a month after i broke up with the ex when i met him online. Yes i meet my guys online since i never go out much. Like i said, shy. Who would have guess i would be married to my 2nd ever BF and still am with him 10 years later. One of the main problem is that it's so hard for me to be open with my husband. I was friends with the ex before we jumped in bed (both virgins) and so we communicated very well. My relationship with my husband went too fast since he liked to sleep around with girls in his pass and he didn't wait to get me in bed. Not that i mind. It was a new experience for me. Was expecting it to be my very first one night stand. Ofcorse it didn't turn out that way. We just ended up together. But still i was never very good with communicating with him. I tried and it only frustrates & depresses me in the end. Sometimes i just don't want to care anymore. The last time i tried it communicate it did not end very well. So i figured it would be easier to tell him how i feel thru e-mails since it's hard to talk to him about serious matters face to face. He did seem to somewhat understand what i'm getting at. Atleast i hope he does. I just hope that he would eventually want to try new stuff with me. Even if it's only once, atleast it would show me that he is willing to try. I ofcorse will always be open to doing whatever he wants me to do. And as i said. i would not consider divorce just because of sex problems. I myself came from a divorced family therefore i know how it can mess up the kids. We have 3 and i would never want them to go thru what i did. But if i can go back in time, i may do things differently. For one, i would have made sure i fulfilled all my fantasies before settling down and having a family. My one regret is that i didn't have more guys.
a jingle 'the bedroom is a place for rest, but still a place of fun when your husband turns to kip, stick an index up his bum'
Hmm..... In my experience, it wouldn't matter if you had slept around before getting married. It only makes matters worse. Once a freak, always a freak! Actually, a person who is just curious about different sexual acts is not gonna be as bad off as a person who had it, but doesn't anymore. To me, the lack of communication usually runs deeper than just the bedroom with people like that. I dated someone like that for 5 years. She was a stone wall when it came to communication. I could handle the little nuances throughout the day, but the bedroom stuff became overwhelming. It was really weird. Our love life was terrible. There was no passion in it at all. For example......... We would be in the middle of having sex, cock in to the hilt, and she would stop for a drink of water every time! I explained to her that it ruined any momentum that we had, and she could care less. We went to functions looking nice, I would get turned on by how stunning she looked, and as soon as we came home she would go for the sweats. She refused to wear sexy underwear at all. To her, I should just deal with it, because that's the way she was. To me, she didn't seem to understand what did it for men. In the end we ended up falling apart regardless of how hard I tried to keep it together. IMO, if some things are difficult, but your love life is good, then you can keep chugging along. When your love life is terrible, it makes it difficult to keep going. After all, that is the main reason we get together anyway! Judging by your rant it seems like you are living the life your husband wants. If you just sit back and take it will always be like that. You have to challenge him to get change. He needs to feel like he has to work at your relationship to keep you. Right now he has that, "Yeah..yeah..yeah....Whatever!" attitude. Challenge him and see what happens. Don't sit back and spend your whole marriage unhappy while he gets everything HE wants. Take something away from him and he will probably change his tune. At least something will happen.
regardless of what you do AznMom, welcome! A mature woman's opinion is always appreciated. Plus, if you can't live it in real life, you can always read/write about it here.
There is a country and western song titled, "Behind Closed Doors" that your husband needs to hear! Have you discussed this with him? If not, you are making a mistake. Sometimes things get out of sync after years of marriage, kids, financial pressures, health changes, job pressures, weight gain, routine, taking each other for granted and so on.
Yep, seems like it's one-sided, but if you allow the pattern to keep repeating, then why should he care? He's happy Since he's not the type to have 'serious talks'.. then your actions need to speak louder than words. Some suggestions would be to push his head down to give you oral Lol. Or as barefootlocks mentioned, let him catch you 'preparing yourself' to the point where you're close orgasm by the time he comes to bed.
