Have you ever been very hard and critical you, to the point you insult yourself? When you make a mistake, do you curse at yourself, or say you’re an idiot? Do you disbelieve and mistrust other people when they complement you? Then you’re probably your own worst enemy. I’ve struggled with negative self image off and on throughout my life. And as I look back on it, the times I struggled the most with negative self image and being my own worst enemy. I see that for the most part it was for superficial reasons that I knew deep down could be fixed if I would’ve just taken the hardship in stride and moved forward. Moving forward from downfalls, and catastrophic losses has never been easy for me. In fact I’m sure I have a harder time moving on from losses than other people. For me, the inevitable denial phase that follows after the loss has a long duration. But I find that the most successful people I’ve ever met and seen, truly love themselves and don’t struggle with an internal worst enemy. People like this are blessed with a mindset of abundance and positivity. They have huge egos. They love themselves. Yet in our society, having a huge ego is frowned upon. Narcissism is viewed in a negative light. Having these will get you scorn and belittlement from those in your surroundings. Very often, I feel that the people who are their own worst enemies, are the crabs in a bucket who pull down the crabs that are trying to escape mediocrity and misery.
Yeah pretty much. I mean I have the mindset that if something doesn't happen for me then it was on me in the first place because I didn't go and make that happen for myself. Although it's far more easier to simply blame others for things that don't go my way I don't necessarily believe that. So yes I'm critical of myself in that respect. If I don't feel like I look good it's on me for eating bad or drinking too much, if I miss that 8 Ball in corner pocket, it's on me for missing it. Right place, wrong time? Still on me too in a sense. Wrong place, right time? Good to get one back.
Being your own worst enemy is a terrible state to be in. Life throws so many real enemies in your way, that it really pays to make friends with yourself and make what you've got work for you. But you need to work out your ego problems. It's not about developing too big an ego, which can be self-defeating ultimately, but more about having a realistic self-appraisal of your abilities and how to situate yourself best in the World. I'm just learning this for myself right now.
I think there is a difference between having a huge ego and loving yourself though. Love is tender and humble, whereas the kind of self love that comes from a big narcissistic ego is mostly about vanity and pride and people like this are usually the most insecure at their very core, they just hide it better. Anyways yeah I used to beat myself up a good bit, I've worked past it though. I don't know if I'm one of those self love people, I dont really give that much thought. But I did learn to stop myself from getting into negative thought processes at any rate
^ Oh I understand there’s some differences between loving yourself and egomania. Some egomaniacs I met we’re overconfident in their talents and abilities, that they didn’t really possess. They often lied, and very were annoying. We are very critical of our own selves though. Often too critical. And I think this overly harsh self-criticism is where it all starts. I'm personally pulling myself out of an ongoing own-worst-enemy phase that has been lasting for a more than a year. I've been reading books about how to get out of it. But it's mostly because my professional life is slowly starting to improve after some trouble. I had to work a mundane low-earning job just to sustain myself, and I needlessly put my dating life on hold because I felt that making little money would make me a lousy provider, and bad boyfriend/husband material. However my professional is showing good signs of improvement, and opportunities are happening. Very true. As the old saying goes: You get what you give. Rewards come from your best effort.
The own worst enemy thing definitely resonates with me, I am confident in many of my abilities but I tend to feel this dissonance in interpersonal relationships. Regarding egos, perhaps it depends on the region you live in but as far as I can tell huge egos are rewarded, I think our current President is case in point of that.
Could it be though, that it isn't the huge ego that is rewarded? But rather the inner confidence of that person with the huge ego? I get how Trump's personality can come off as very annoying and arrogant to a lot of people. But several years ago when Kanye West had the biggest ego of anyone around, wanted to take Michael Jackson's title as the King of Pop right after he died, and stole Taylor Swift's microphone. He wasn't rewarded, he was ridiculed. Nonetheless, politicians and celebrities alike are a special type of personality of people who truly love themselves. In order to work your way high enough to become famous, you have to truly know how to deal with the around-the-clock hate from others that come with with it. I guess the support from one's fans acts as a counterbalance to all the hate and ridicule faced by famous people.
Check all of the above!! I was my own worst enemy tonight (well, last night); but then I came to the same conclusion as you. Well, it's a conclusion I've come to many times but soon forget when the depressive cycle hits. That's the one thing that kinda makes me pause about your original post. Yes, there are genuine crabs, but there are also those people who struggle with say depression and they genuinely try not to be depressed, do all of the techniques, but it is still there, dragging them down. And those people that seem to have it all, while I applaud them and live with one, it is very different than the person with depression. I say this humbly because I used to be of the type to think we could all just wish our depressive symptoms away and that folks, or even myself, weren't trying hard enough, but sometimes life just overwhelms you with too much at once and if you're already in an episode, it gets very hard to get out until ...until the mood goes away?? with time and the effort?? That is my experience, but then I kinda flip the other way...it might even be different for others. I dunno. That was just my one critique, but otherwise, I agree and damn it, I got sucked in again last night...but I'm better now. ha!
Loving is an ability and skill. Practice makes perfect whether it's directed toward yourself or others. Judgement is also a skill.
Sometimes, I can be my own enemy in the way you just described. Problem is though, being self-critical to just the right degree for it to be motivational and not inimical to progress can be a very fine line at times though.
