Lately, I have been feeling like that crazy and insecure girlfriend everybody knows. Never did I think that's who I would become, but alas, here I am. My situation is this: My beau of 8 months asked me if I would mind if he met up with his old fling for lunch later this month, as she's coming to town with her family for a visit. Just days prior to this, during a drunk rant, I told him I still wasn't over the fact that he didn't tell me about meeting up with this girl while we together. He actually had flown to see her...not far but nonetheless. The story goes a little deeper, but I will leave it at that. He told me nothing happened during their meeting but lunch. He said he wouldn't even hold her hand. The fact that she tried to hold his hand during this event leads to believe her intentions are not entirely pure.This was his "goodbye" to her. (She lives in Europe) When I found out about their meeting it hurt me a lot, especially because he had no intentions about telling me. I found out in a manner I'd rather not discuss. It hurt the most because he has always dwelled into my head that honesty is so important to him. I felt lied to and decieved. He felt that he never lied to me about it...he just never told me. All in all, I forgave him. I still think about it a lot. The trust is working its way back. So fast forward to him asking about meeting up with this girl again. He says he was torn about just deleting the e-mail from her and not telling me. He said that he didn't want to make another mistake by not telling me about what's happening in his life. What I would have liked was for him to delete the e-mail, tell me that he wasn't going to meet her because that part of his life was over, and we would continue on. Obviously, that didn't happen. He said he doesn't just want to cut people out of his life. Now I can't help but feel that this girl's feelings mean more to him than mine do, and that hurts a lot. I just don't know what to do. I know if I told him that if he were to meet her we would be done, he wouldn't meet her. I also know I am not his boss and never would I want that role. If he wants to do something he can, and I know he does want to meet up with her. I've been dwelling about this for awhile now. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?
Did you tell him that? If you did and he can't respect that, well.. it's only been 8 months.. cut your losses and run.
there are a lot of other guys out there who won't secretly fly to europe to see an old girlfriend. that showed a tremendous lack of regard for you, and you deserve better. just move on and let him have his feelings for a girl who lives across an ocean, while you take your flesh and blood elsewhere. i mean, seriously.
Ya I have some advice. The whole jealously thing strikes most of us sometimes, and from what I read the dishonesty is enough to be jealous about seeing as how you both don't have an open relationship (im assuming) and he was so sneaky about it. I see it this way, she lives in Europe, and you crawl into bed with him everynight. Shes over there, and you're right there. No need to be jealous, not yet anyways not unless he sleeps with her. But look the thing to do now, is shock him. Be confident, have no problem with him meeting up with an old fling. He'll be awestruck. Later that day, wear your sexiest outfit, whatever makes you feel hot, and make a really unexpected moveon him, something hes wanted you to do that you havent done for him, or do his favourite. He wont even be thinking about his old fling, he'll be thinking wtf has gotten into my gf and when can I??? That's my advice.
Nah! Don't reward his sneaky behavior with sexy treats! He'll think it's what you want him to do. I dunno man, his acting dodgy and secretive about the whole situation would be enough for me to raise a stink with my guy. If he can't keep you in the loop about that, what ELSE might he try to hide down the road? He knows she wants his cock, and he knows that hurts you, hence the reason he conveniently didn't tell you about it in the first place. I say throw him back and cast your line again. Sorry, I hope it works out either way.
Man, i feel for you. I had the same thing happen. Except it's with my husband and i was like 7 months pregnant with our first child at the time. I found out that he was communicating with an ex and was planning on meeting with her for lunch. I confronted him and we had a fight about it. I was just so mad. In the end he didn't see her (i'm hoping not). Then a few years later the same shit happened again. And get this, i was pregnant with our 2nd child. He bitched that he just wanted to met up with her and get over things since she broke up with him. That was so so many years ago. Did you not already get over things? Why the shit do you have to keep doing this when you know it hurts me. And all during my pregnancy. I'm thinking he don't give a shit about my feelings. Men are like that. They can be such asses. But since we are married, i am still with him and i like to believe that in the end he never met up with her. I even e-mailed her telling her to stop communicating with him. Don't know if she did. I'm getting pissed just thinking about it. If i were you and i wasn't married to this guy then i'd move on. I don't need these lies and heartaches. Don't waste your time.
Wow....... Sounds like someone might need to listen to their own advice. No one will respect you unless you respect yourself first. You have to draw a line in the sand at some point and show people you mean business.
Is he your slave? Is he your employee? Why should he do what you want? And you have no right to expect him to. Because he visited her twice? How often does he visit you? Personally, I think he was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT not to tell you the first time. He obviously thought he shouldn't mention it (even though, honesty is important to him) because he thought you would overreact. Guess what, you did!
Well, i'm married with 3 kids. Aside from keeping a little secret from me here and there, my husband is a good father and provider. Can't just divorce him because he was talking to an ex. I trust he's not cheating and i do love him. I just wish he won't keep things from me. Cause sooner or later i will find out. Girls always do.
