Age Difference In A Relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by tumbling.dice, Mar 30, 2017.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tumbling.dice

    tumbling.dice Visitor

    Is anyone here involved in a relationship with someone of a significantly different age?

    Here's my situation: I recently started talking with a woman I met on a dating site and we seem to be off to a good start. I didn't ask her age, I just assumed she was about the same as me (I'm 48). When I did ask she told me she is 30 and my heart kind of sank. A relationship with a younger woman is something I have never even remotely considered but now I find myself thinking about it. The thing that got me interested is she has said she would like another kid, something most woman my age are through with, and I have sometimes thought I should have had at least one child, especially since my dad died.

    So what are the pitfalls I would have to negotiate? I feel like I'm getting in over my head. I have always heard that age is just a number, but I'm not sure I believe that. If we did have children I would be old enough to be their grandfather.

    Anyone here ever been through something similar?
     
    Witoutit and Eric! like this.
  2. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    11,504
    Likes Received:
    1,543
    Yes - I had a similar situation with a woman I met when I was 50. She was only 31. but in an unhappy relationship with a guy a couple of years older than me, with whom she was in process of splitting up.
    Talking to her and getting to know her, I realized she is someone who really did want kids, a cycle I've been through, and don't want to repeat.

    I had to let go of the idea of an ongoing relationship. Although I did really like her, I think I made the right decision, and I don't regret it because I do feel I did the right thing. Haven't seen her for a few years now as she's gone back to Slovakia from where she came.
     
  3. NextEvolution

    NextEvolution Member

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    11
    If a girl is looking for a significantly older man, they want someone who will guide the relationship and lay down boundaries. If you aren't ready to take that role, then you're not ready for a younger girl.
     
    lost in Earl Grey likes this.
  4. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    16,175
    Likes Received:
    4,916
    Have you met her yet? How can you make any determination about anyone without meeting them first about anything?
     
  5. tumbling.dice

    tumbling.dice Visitor

    Hi Moonglow!

    We are meeting in public for the first time this Saturday. So far we've been talking on the phone, texting and sending pictures. I love the way she talks: open, straight to the point and funny!

    I haven't made a determination about anything yet; I'm thinking very deliberately about this and want to avoid any bad moves. Of course, we may not like each other upon meeting face to face but that's true in any potential new relationship.
     
  6. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    16,175
    Likes Received:
    4,916
    That is great then. I am happy you are meeting and you seem to be thinking everything correctly.....Take it one step at a time, and I really wish it works out for you. Your age diffence isn't that big....and she may be the one for you.....Stay positive, and I hope the best for you here...:)
     
  7. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    16,175
    Likes Received:
    4,916
    About age...I have met very young people who were more mature than some older people I have met,(shit I met an 8 year old....who was more mature than most people...it was mind boggling)... but I have also met very young people who are very immature.....and not ready for anything.....Everything depends on each individual is what I am trying to say.
    Again...I will keep my fingers crossed for you... :)
     
    Thecars1979 and mich_funseeker like this.
  8. fundoo

    fundoo Members

    Messages:
    1,225
    Likes Received:
    564
    how'd it go? I think it's sweet! :)
     
  9. tumbling.dice

    tumbling.dice Visitor

    We are officially boyfriend and girlfriend!
     
  10. fundoo

    fundoo Members

    Messages:
    1,225
    Likes Received:
    564
    "like" hehe :)
     
  11. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Individuals Dice!

    Both my grandparents had quite an age difference..

    Paternal, my nan was about 15 years older than my grandfather.

    My maternal grandfather was ten years older than my grandmother..

    The younger grandfather was by far the least interacting with any family member, but the older grandfather was fantastic! Missed by everyone that had met him..Loved by his family..And the best fun!

    So dice, go for it, age is but a number, and nothing more, it's how you are..Be fun, and enjoy! What ever way it goes!
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    17,539
    Likes Received:
    1,351
    Dice, I'm also 48.
    I'm seeing a man who is 65.
    Neither of us look our ages, but with 17 years as a gap, he still looks like a cradle robber. The fact that he went silver and my red is still very red enhances this.

    However, I'm pretty sure that people 30 and under cannot see us. We are invisible. Because those lawn-dwellers cannot conceive of the older folks having better sex than they do. :)

    One advantage is we both have clear ideas of what we want and need, and know the difference, in a relationship. We know where compatibility must line up, and where it isn't critical.
    So far, it seems we are both good, giving and game. Able to stretch outside the comfort zone, but not forcing the other too far.
    And something feels profoundly comfortable, given that we have known and trusted one another for so long. We have been friends for around a decade.
     
    lbushwalker and tumbling.dice like this.
  13. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    23,130
    Likes Received:
    26,126
    I like this topic. I've been on both ends of the age spectrum when it comes to dating. For a long time I've dated women who were much older than me (14-20 years older), and these were wonderful relationships! There was understanding about what we specificly wanted and we went from there. And then I dated a woman 14 years younger, and that was the biggest mistake I ever made. We started out great but she became emotionally needy and full of drama at times. I couldn't stand all the fuss over peddly shit and decided that we shouldn't be anymore than friends after that. I agree that age is just a number, but when it comes to marriage, to me, a huge age gap is not a good thing. I wanted someone to grow old with, relatively close to my age and no more than 3-5 years difference. To watch a wife much older than me pass away would emotionally destroy me.
     
  14. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    17,539
    Likes Received:
    1,351
    Mortality, and caregiving, are things I think of in the abstract. But my previous relationship was much closer in age and I still had concerns since he didn't take care of himself at all.

    What's funny is I have a seizure disorder that could stop my breathing or heart at any time.
    Every day is bonus time in my life. And I live it that way.
     
  15. IAmMaxieHearMeRoar

    IAmMaxieHearMeRoar Maxie Lee Courtland-Colton

    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    212
    Not me personally, but I know a guy who is 22 and dating a 43 year old woman. They seem to be getting along though, so good for him.
     
  16. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    17,539
    Likes Received:
    1,351
    I actually wonder about the large gaps with one so young, beyond casual.

    I wonder about compatibility as the years go on, given she's just starting out and he's in feed the retirement account years.
    Will she feel she missed out on dating several people? Will he tire of clubbing?

    Not a judgement, just wondering what the story will be.
     
  17. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

    Messages:
    9,578
    Likes Received:
    6,215
    Any relationship that works and makes its two participants happy is good.

    Though, I agree with what Drumminmama said above. Too big of an age gap could prove problematic down the road.
     
  18. Logan 5

    Logan 5 Confessed gynephile Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    2,601
    Likes Received:
    192
    My last fiance was 64 to my 36. Age is an issue, but in the end it's just a number. They are still just as human, just as loving, and kiss just as good as the young'uns (if no better).
     
    1 person likes this.
  19. Scratched

    Scratched Members

    Messages:
    866
    Likes Received:
    254
    If you love one another, it doesn't matter.

    If your family don't like it, they can stay home. It's your lives after all.
     
    AstroShark, Mallyboppa and Logan 5 like this.
  20. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    My grandfather that was younger than my grandmother actually died first.. which again proves age is but a number...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice