Partner Swapping Arrangements

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by Karen_J, Sep 19, 2011.

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  1. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    Sex should always be fun. :)

    We have been on The Pill for years.

    Read the OP again. It's in there.

    It's hard as hell to write about this without using names, and I don't want to use anybody's real names, so I'm going to start calling the other couple Amy and Chris in this thread.

    Chris likes 'sloppy seconds' much better than my regular boyfriend, so he usually goes second when the same girl gets two loads of sperm in the same session, vaginally. It's more common for each girl to have only her alternate partner come inside her, or to do a DP the old-fashioned way; getting it from behind while doing a blowjob. Sometimes we try several things before the guys come, so there is no mess, and no waiting time in between for the men to get fresh erections.

    Thinking back through everything, there are a few highlights that stand out.

    Just last summer, Amy had her first true lesbian experience. She had always been scared to try it in college, but one night I slipped in a finger to touch her clit while she was getting normal sex. She liked it a lot. After taking a few more slugs from the Bacardi bottle, she was ready for me to go down on her. After that, she was hooked, and we've been doing each other ever since. Chris said the best part (besides watching) was tasting her pussy on my tongue.

    To keep things more interesting, we like to specialize. We focus on what we do best. We know that I do the best blowjobs, Amy has more experience with (and interest in) anal sex, my boyfriend thrusts the hardest and strongest, and Chris (with the slimmer dick) is better at giving anal sex. Knowing all this, Amy decided one weekend that she was going to try a DP with my bf in her pussy while her hubby went up her ass. It was cool to watch, but the guys didn't like having to grind their balls together, and she said it was too much cock for her little body. :rofl:

    My favorite story isn't even sexual. It was on the mountain retreat trip. We were in a beautiful mountaintop bar, already wasted, when two more couples walked in. Outside the glass front doors, I had seen them say goodbye to 5 or 6 kids, who were off to start an afternoon of canoing or horseback riding or fuck only knows what. Then the adults came inside and sat down. The two sad, beaten-down looking middle-aged men sat together at the bar, and their wives sat together, beside them. The women were so goddamn fat that I swear to god it looked like the barstools were going to go all the way up their asses.

    We were sitting way too close to laugh out loud, so I grabbed Amy's arm and rushed to the bathroom, biting my tongue and digging my nails into my palm all the way there. In the ladies' room, we busted out laughing like a pair of stupid 7th grade cunts. We laughed till we cried.

    "I thought I was going to lose it in front of them", Amy said, wiping her eyes with a tissue, after she caught her breath.

    "Amy, promise me we're never going to be those people."

    "Swear to god, as long as there's breath in my body, it'll never happen."

    We went back to the table, and overheard the fat women talking and laughing loudly, in an obnoxious way, like they were the queens of the bar. I made eye contact with Amy. I guess I had a devious expression.

    "Don't fucking get me started", she warned. "I may have to kill you."

    "This place obviously isn't [the name of our college]."

    "No shit."

    I just think it is interesting to think about. I'm mildly curious about people that I know. It doesn't really matter.

    I hope you will tell us more about it! Half the guys are going to PM you for details anyway. You may as well post everything.

    If we got together a lot more often, things would probably get a lot more complicated.

    So sad. :( I'm sorry it ended that way.

    :cheers2: I'll drink to that.

    I hope you find what you are looking for.

    I think Amy's old dorm roommate deserves a lot of the credit/blame for our perversions. She was more or less the leader of our little group of three, and she was greatly inspired by learning in class about the morals of ancient Greek and Roman societies. We read more about it outside of class, and also read about college orgies of the 1960s and 70s. We discussed it in detail in the dorms. As young women who wanted to be completely liberated and equal to men, we realized that we had as much right as men to be promiscuous, if we wanted to be. We went for it.

    Once Amy and Chris started dating, both hated the idea of giving up their wild lifestyle, so they simply agreed not to change anything. Why play the standard dating game? There could never be any pretense between them, since they started out their relationship knowing all the dirt on each other.

    That's a good point, and I'm not sure that Amy will ever tell her girls what has been going on. She hasn't made any decision. If she waits until they are old enough to think and react like mature adults, they may be pissed off that they were misled for so long. I'm not using the term 'lie' because that hasn't been necessary. They are not asking questions.

    Amy says she would kind of like for them to know the truth by the time they are ready to get married, because she thinks it is possible the younger one might eventually want to do something similar. It would be a shame for the girl (as an adult) to worry about keeping her sexual creativity a secret from her mother, not realizing that there is no need. She should someday get to enjoy knowing just how open-minded her parents are. She is lucky.

    A little PDA can be fun, in the right situation. We made one trip to a city that has a sizable openly gay population. In the cool part of town, Amy and I were comfortable holding hands as we walked, and kissing in a public park. Nobody had a negative reaction. Our men, walking behind us, both got erections. That was a good day.

    I really think the older one would say something, if she knew. That's her personality.

    I'm not a mother, and I don't think you're a parent either, so we don't really know about this. All I know for sure is that she never had any time for anyone or anything else, when the girls were little. She didn't appear to do anything for fun. That looks like dedication, to me. Being a good mom is a hard job.

    Not me. I grew up in small Southern towns, so we had all these crazy social rules in the way of reality. I didn't see middle-aged men as they really are until I was in my mid-20s and had spent some time in larger cities.

    The biggest difference between you and me is that you see everybody fitting neatly into groups, and I don't. A lot of people comfortably fit a stereotype, but millions don't. Chris is not a typical guy. Most straight men from his background would not think that Amy is 'pure' enough to be an upper-middle class wife and mother, even though her family has money. If he was a typical middle-aged perv, he would be off by himself having an affair with a girl half his age, while Amy waited for him at home.

    When two people spend enough quality time together, they create their own little world. Other people and opinions don't matter so much.

    This is reality in Australia? I haven't seen this in the USA.
     
  2. dreamsDOcomeTRUE

    dreamsDOcomeTRUE KYTLIVE

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    :2thumbsup:Actually everyone was very accepting to the fact the couple was honest about it, only a few people had a problem is that what happen to kid/baby, and how do you explain it to them. (one of the two couples had a kid)


    But I honestly don't understand these sorts of stuff, kinky or not. Having someone have sex with someone I love, idk :(
     
  3. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    Kids tend to accept whatever lifestyle they grow up seeing, as long as it doesn't hurt them. The problem starts when they go to public school or daycare and start telling prudes what they have seen.

    I wouldn't advise anyone to do anything sexual that they don't enjoy. Why would you?

    I think I am in the twilight zone in between the two. Amy is a step ahead of me.
     
  4. stevepremo

    stevepremo loves life

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    My wife and I are active in several groups that are pro-polyamory and sex positive, and we have agreements on safer sex. Mostly we don't play together, not because we have a rule against it, but because we are into different activities. So we each have other lovers, whom we see frequently, and also have other connections that are more casual. "Ethical Slut" is a good intro to the topic.
     
  5. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Objectivity, Parents are never objective about their kids, She's a good mom, a devoted mom, she puts her family first; these are all gooey sentiments one uses to describe the mother, to affirm her work - doesnt have anything to do with whats best for the child. Good intentions can have negative effects especially when it comes to overmothering.

    And a parent is more likely to understand the child if the child is similar to them, their personality, developed at certain stages at similar ages. If the child is very different the parent is not going to be able to understand.

    If the mother grew up as a Jan Brady, but one of the daughters is more of a Marsha, develops early and very pretty, has to learn early about dealing with older men too early, guys her own age, bitchy older women, cant get on with most other girls. Then the mother is not really going to be able to understand whats shes going through no matter how dedicated she is. And a total stranger, another woman that did grow up as a Marsha, is in some ways going to understand that daughter better than the mother does, and be more objective about it



    Again thats just gooey sentiments isnt it? 7 Billion people on the planet, theres not that much variation for 7 Billion individuals, I'll be generous and say you could trim it down to 100 different categories, even though its more like 12. But the part that really irks everyone is that, yes some will be able to read you map you out instantly, by your behaviours, your appearance and that they are usually right


    Yeah but you see things from the inside, to a lot of other people it would seem She is the devoted, monogamous Soccer mom, the last type to be a swinger, they wouldnt be really paying attention. Whereas if a George Clooney type comes along and she melts in his very presence, that guy aint going to believe shes faithful. And as for the husband, upper middle class with a bit of spare cash, most will assume he has at least one mistress or regular visits to a gentlemens club no matter how devoted he claims to be, and even if that is the case

    That is the stereotype that irks you, the kind you'd pay attention to, so the only one you see. You dont see middle aged guys that go for teen guys, or 20 something body builders, or are self conscious or just like it sweet and go for guys their age or older. You're a swinger but just with a regular couple, so you dont go along to swingers clubs and see the middle aged guys that are still stallions, or the girls that seem like devoted soccer moms to everyone else, but go off to those clubs to get done by 10 guys at a time.

    Overall, post 30 the girls are definately more about sex than the guys are. A 50 year old guy with a artificial hairline and chunky silver chain driving around in a porshe with a 20 year girl, thats about ego not sex, at 20 she's not going to be that experienced, if it was about sex he'd be with a Demi Moore type



    I doubt the US is all that different. But again 'Reality' no one really knows what reality is, no one ever gets to see everything, especially all the stuff thats hidden. Often the public persona is not reality
     
  6. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    What about before you guys were polyamorous?
     
  7. zerojanai

    zerojanai Member

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    Children most certainly add a complexity to the equation! What are 'Amy's perspectives on this with her children as they grow older? You had mentioned that she is a step ahead when it comes to the welding of the two relationships? Has she shared her thoughts regarding a 'long term' progression of the group?


    Quick question regarding:
    What are the female perspectives here? Heh, I guess this idea gets me going a little! What do you mean regarding 'no mess'? Also, any practical advice for group sex, or 'gotta try this' advice?

    In the future I believe I would like to be in a similar situation with the extra couple (including the distance). This sounds like a great way to have safe fun and be able to try new things! A great number of my personal fantasies can be fulfilled with the addition of another sexy and open couple to the bedroom festivities!

    Karen, thank you for sharing the enjoyable side stories!
     
  8. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    And who are those people who can map other people out? How come you seem to be one of them? And why can they see what others can`t?

    Or is it just that when they are wrong, they edit out that information from their memory banks so they can keep on talking in generalities? Or, when they are confronted with people who claim not to fit their generalities, it must mean that they, the people who can`t map other people out, are hiding something?

    Especially, if they get mad for being put in a neat little box, oh lawd. I must have touched a nerve!

    Isn`t that how it goes?

    Edit: Finally, if you are in fact more objective about others than they could possibly be about themselves, why let them know that?
     
  9. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Yeah, pretty much, only the degree by which they get mad, not solely the fact that they get mad


    We are all very predictable and far from unique. But more importantly, despite what we think our own level of determination is, its just way too complicated working out what every one else is going to predict from you.

    Or more simply, you have no control over what everyone else pidgeon holes you as
     
  10. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    Fair enough.
     
  11. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    You don't know this woman personally, and she doesn't post here. I clearly said that I know very little about what she did during the girls' early years, and I only posted a few lines about their current relationship. Therefore, your opinion is based on nothing. You pulled it out of your ass.

    Her girls love all the fun activities they get to do on their own. I don't think they give a shit what their parents are doing at the time. They aren't thinking about it at all. They have better things to do, like flirt with boys their age.

    :toetap05: Enough said about this.

    This pretty much sums up 99% of your posts on all serious subjects. Your act is getting old. We've seen it to death. :rolleyes: Get some new material!

    Yup. We are on the same page here.

    She is torn by indecision because the girls are so different. If the older one wasn't so conservative in her moral views, 'Amy' would love to have an open conversation with the younger one and explain that ordinary monogamy isn't the ideal option for everybody, and that having other options in your life doesn't have to be a danger to your health or to family stability, if you do it right. But she can't tell just one child and expect her to keep it a secret from her sister. They are only two years apart, so they talk about everything.

    Amy also has ultraconservative parents who are elderly and frail. After they are dead, she won't have to worry about the older daughter telling them anything. It may be best to say nothing to anybody until the older generation is out of the picture. She wouldn't want to risk going though what Aerianne did (see post #20).

    She has always told the girls that it's important to a good marriage for a couple to spend quality time together regularly, away from their kids.

    I could be wrong, but I don't think anybody is thinking seriously about a progression at this point. We all like the stability of our situation. I don't think we need to change anything in the next few years.

    For now, the challenge will be continuing to find new ways to keep everything fresh and exciting, by coming up with new destinations and activities and schedule combinations. We haven't been to Vegas or San Francisco together yet. I don't think Amy would like New Orleans, but I'd like to show Chris a good time there. We can also experiment more with starting out a trip all together and then splitting into couples, or doing it the opposite way. We have tried both options one time, in Memphis and Saint Martin (Dutch side). I would be interested in being alone with Amy more, but I'm not sure what the guys would do during that time.

    The last change in the pattern of how we all do things was when Amy started talking to my bf more often via e-mail, text, and cell phone. She definitely does a lot more of that sort of thing than I do, but I can be myself on Hip Forums, and she doesn't have a similar online social group (on Facebook, she has to be fake conservative). I can understand why she enjoys talking to somebody outside of her house who accepts her as she really is, and never judges her for not being more traditional in her thinking. The two of them have connected on that level. And of course, they enjoy flirting.

    That all started when she discovered how easy it is to send explicit pictures from a cell phone. I guess it seemed a bit absurd to send them only to her husband, since he sees her naked every night and every morning.

    She has thrown out a few ideas for our retirement years, such as moving to a coastal or mountain vacation area together, or maybe running a quaint little bed and breakfast inn as a hobby. We are a long way from retirement, so it isn't time to think seriously about such things.

    It has been interesting to watch her grow as a person over the years. In college, she was always a follower. Now she doesn't hesitate to speak up when she has an idea. I think being a mother has made her a better, more complete person. My career did that for me, but I was never as much of a follower as she used to be. Our old classmates would be surprised at what an interesting person she has become.

    I'm not sure I get your question. From our perspective, a cock only transfers a small amount of vaginal fluids from one **** to the next. I'm obviously not afraid of Amy's body fluids, since we do oral on each other (including 69), so we aren't concerned about it at all. I do think it's cool to know that I have sperm from two guys mixed together inside me, but that's something I think about afterward, not during sex. Going down on her when she's full of semen is less of a big deal than letting guys come in my mouth, obviously.

    Our only non-negotiable rule is that after anal sex (which is rare), that dick must be washed with soap and water before it goes anywhere else, except up another ass. I'm not afraid for Amy's shit to touch mine.

    There are so many sexual practices that simply cannot be done with only two people. But finding the right couple is no easy task.

    You are right about the distance factor. Amy and Chris say they somewhat regret going to a swingers' club too close to home, early in their marriage. They haven't had any bad experiences with creepy stalker types or running into ex-partners at bad times or people talking too much in the community about information that shouldn't be repeated, but they know all these things are possible as long as they live in that area.

    The second issue is trust. The other couple may say that they aren't getting naked with anyone else, but can you believe them? Trust has to be built over time. And safe sex practices are a pain.

    Third, you have to find four people who all like each other and get along. It can be hard enough to find one person. Age seems to help with this problem. Most people's social skills improve over time. Beware that you will never see a group of four where all the internal relationships are symmetrical. In other words, some people will get more into it than others, and will get more out of it, or just different things. In our group, the strongest individual relationship is between Amy and my man. Don't be surprised when something like that happens in a group. It's to be expected. It's natural.

    I have a good relationship with Chris, but it's different from the other relationship because we are human. We do what works for us. I have more experience with one-on-one relationships, doing the things that single people do on overnight dates. I have fun in the orgies but when Chris and I are alone together, I'm on my home turf. I know exactly what to do to seduce him and make him feel special and make him forget all about Amy for a while. That's my thing. A week later, I don't want to read a message about how many business meetings he has been to that day, or what he had for lunch. He doesn't expect me to care.

    Last but not least, everyone in the group needs to be smart enough to realize that an affair is always going to be more exciting and fun than having sex with your regular partner. If someone doesn't understand this, they may do something stupid like get a divorce and marry the other partner. Then they find out that sex with the new spouse becomes less exciting because of repetition, household responsibilities, conversations about money, etc. If you know how all that works, you're not likely to fall into that trap. If sex with the other person (or people) isn't better in some ways than monogamy, then the whole thing is pointless. That doesn't mean you are living with the wrong person.
     
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  12. zerojanai

    zerojanai Member

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    How would you describe your relationship with yours before and after including the other couple? Any complications with setting meetings and ground rules? Finally, does the inclusion of the other couple make sex better when its just you and your boyfriend?

    :)


    I really appreciate your input and my better half also finds this topic fascinating! we both agree that you are also very tactful with your writing and how well you handle all the questions! Thank you once again!
     
  13. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    I would be interested in knowing what some of the differences are between the various groups. I've never been involved in anything like that for adults that are out of school.

    It has evolved somewhat, as all relationships do, but I'm not sure what the impact has been from the other couple. Before that situation began, we did a three-way with one of his ex-girlfriends. That was my first chance to see his sexually adventurous side. I guess he would say the same thing about me. It is one thing to talk about taking a walk on the wild side, and another thing to see it happen. It makes an impact, the first time. You don't forget it.

    I suppose the whole thing with the other couple has caused me to have a higher opinion of him. I trust him more because of the way he has handled things, and I'm especially impressed with the way he has treated Amy. He's a real gentleman. And it's nice to hear her tell me I picked a winner. She knows enough about him to know what she's talking about.

    Amy is in a completely different position. I was the second person to tell her that Chris was a good fuck, and that she should give him a try. We were sophomores at the time. So I can't really tell her anything new.

    Sometimes I wonder how all this would have turned out if it had started when we were younger, before Amy was through having kids. Would she have wanted to carry the group marriage concept all the way to the point of having babies with both guys? She has never given a clear answer on this, but Chris tells me he would have had no problem with another guy getting her pregnant, as long as he got to do it first.

    This makes me think about what fundamentalist Mormons do. I can't imagine having one husband that I share with several women. No woman should have to be her only husband's second or third option. I feel bad for women who are stuck in that situation, because of being born into that culture.

    No, our only ground rules pertain to basic hygiene, and we set dates months in advance, unless it is one of those business trip things that I talked about earlier. They initially said they wanted to do STD tests once a year, but after the second round, I convinced them it was a waste of money to continue. (Amy has become a health and cleanliness freak. She would kill Chris if he gave her an STD.) The first person to come up with a trip idea for next time gets to plan it. The only exception was Saint Martin. That was more money than we normally spend on a vacation, so we put that one off for a few months, and did a cheaper trip first.

    Our events go smoothly because the men know it's better to let the women be in charge, and neither one of us girls is bossy in social situations. We just want to have fun.

    The only difference is when we sometimes talk about them during foreplay. We also swap stories during foreplay about all kinds of sexual adventures from our single days. He likes the college party stories best.

    If she is new to all this, she might find it more comfortable to start out with a couple who only likes to watch other people fuck, and have other people watch them. For some couples, that includes masturbating for the group. That is very low risk, and an easy way to build self-confidence in group situations.

    One step up from this is having the second female assist in a limited way, such as providing another pair of hands. One finger on the clit and another behind the balls or up the guy's ass can add a lot to 'normal' sex. And some guys count it as a three-way if the girls do nothing more than touch tongues and suck nipples.

    Finding another couple to do more is where this gets hard. I've heard about swinger clubs in Vegas where couples can watch stuff through large windows. You can meet and talk to other couples about their experiences, and what they are interested in. There is no obligation to participate in anything. I don't know if the window thing is done outside of Vegas and I haven't been to one of these places myself, so I'm passing along second-hand information here. It sounds like a good way to investigate and learn. You can go home and talk about it before you make any decisions.

    There will never be any reliable statistics on this, but I've been told that there are a good number of brothers who regularly trade wives. For guys who aren't bisexual, this may be the perfect opportunity to swap with a guy that you know and trust completely. Chris' brother doesn't do that sort of thing, so...
     
  14. zerojanai

    zerojanai Member

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    Thanks once again for the insights. I am also new to the concept, so the council is double appreciated!

    Mobile
     
  15. steamwater

    steamwater Member

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    I don't know the swinging scene at all, but I do go to sex parties, and the people tend not to identify as swingers - more as polyamorous. As it's often described, swinging is about making sexual connections without emotional involvement, while poly is about being emotionally and sexually involved with more than one person, that is, it's about relationships.

    That being said, there are people in the Bay Area poly community (which includes those folks who were on Tyra Banks' show) who have parties. Some are family oriented (i.e., open to kids), and some are more adventuresome, with people wearing sexy clothes, connecting sexually with others, and so on. Most of my friends in that community would probably identify as poly, relate to the concept of sacred sexuality, and are familiar with tantra. That is, we're a bunch of old hippies. :) Sometimes at parties and events, we play with new people that we don't intend to get more involved with.

    One sex-positive community is the HAI community, that is, people who like HAI workshops on love, intimacy and sexuality, and who value open communication and connection with others. Most of the people in that community are monogamous (broadly defined), but many are poly. For people interested in being around people with healthy attitudes toward love and sex, I recommend taking a HAI workshop or a tantra class. Get to know those people, and get invited to their parties. :)

    My wife and I have other relationships, and also attend sexually oriented parties and events, separately and together. This meets my desire for variety, and her desire for BDSM play. We, and our lovers, get tested for STDs annually, use condoms with new people (at least until they are tested for STDs), and get information from new lovers about their sex histories, sexual practices, and most recent test results.

    And yes, we have kids. They know we have other relationships. We don't try to pretend that we are monogamous, and in fact, we believe that polyamory deserves the same respect as monogamy. We wouldn't pretend to be straight if we were gay, and we don't pretend to be monogamous when we are poly.
     
  16. zerojanai

    zerojanai Member

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    So!- What are some of the more fun and enjoyable sex activities/positions that get the group going? Also, when Amy visits you and your boyfriend- any position/activities really enjoyable?

    I have a few ideas of what I'd like, but with no actual experience with 3 or 4 people- I can only imagine. The thought of laying on my back and having one partner ride me while the other female partner licks my shaft and her clit sounds really hot. My other fantasy here is to have the woman belly to belly and to have the men take turns with each of them. My heart really starts pumping at the thought of that, especially once the other man cums inside one of them so I can have a turn afterwards. I'm sure you've tried many more fun things! :)

    As far as actually doing anything, I don't think I will be pushing hard for the foreseeable future. I want to be sure we get into this slowly if it is going to happen. Trust is paramount in my relationship, and I don't want to break my partners trust in me, as I value her companionship very much! :sunny:
     
  17. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    I hope you know how lucky you are to live in an area where you can find so many open-minded friends. :) I'm more than a little envious!

    Has dealing with your kids on this issue been difficult or easy? I suppose that would depend mostly on what they say to their friends and teachers, and what kind of reactions they get in return. Your kids are naturally going to accept whatever lifestyle they have grown up with, until they have a conversation about it with a narrow-minded person, and they come home with questions that they weren't asking before. Or they come home upset because one of their peers told them that their parents are bad people.

    I've read similar conversations about the children of nudists. They don't see anything wrong with it until other people start trying to get them to see it in a negative way. This is a very different situation because those kids can actively participate in nudist activities, especially at the beaches.

    Oh my, the Bay area is such a special place! You're making me want to take another trip out there soon.

    I don't think I want to get any deeper into those details here. I've posted a lot of that stuff in other threads, over the last two and a half years. There's a lot of overlap with the college stories, partly because one or two of the same people were sometimes involved.

    That has to be your number one priority.
     
  18. steamwater

    steamwater Member

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    Pretty easy. We didn't bring it up until they were old enough to be reasonably discreet about it. At that point, they knew our other lovers, and even before we were poly we often had friends over to spend the night, or a week or longer, so the idea of spending the night at friends' houses or having them stay with us was always there. When they were old enough to pay attention to the sleeping arrangements, we told them. One of our kids thought we were really weird, the other thought it was pretty cool.
     
  19. MellowDonna

    MellowDonna Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Karen_J invited me to post in this thread, so….

    My husband and I have shared with other couples for a few years now. I’m not sure which of us actually said “let’s do it,” but we were of a similar mind. In my college days, I was with A LOT more guys than I should have been. That’s a separate story, and not a particularly pleasant one. My husband wasn’t a virgin when we met, but my experiences outnumbered his by a wide margin. Whenever we’d talk about our pasts, he’d always get aroused. Honestly, I sort of missed the teasing I used to do. Between his excitement about my past and my love of attention, it was inevitable we’d eventually venture outside.

    We both have Herpes, so we limit our escapades to similar couples. There are websites such as “Swingers with Herpes,” “SimplexLove,” and “HSwing” where couples can connect. That’s how we got started. Our first experience wasn’t particularly good. The other couple was full of themselves, and, even though we were in agreement we wanted to do this, I had difficulty relaxing in front of my husband. Eventually we found a couple we clicked with and I got comfortable. Like many things, word of mouth was the best marketing. The couple we liked put us in touch with others, and eventually our circle grew to about a half-dozen “regulars,” and we’re not very active on the website anymore. We see each couple about once a year. So far it’s just been exchanges with one couple at a time, no mass orgies.

    It’s worked out that all the couples live out of town. That wasn’t our plan at the start, but it’s worked well. I have a high-profile job, and it wouldn’t serve me well to be seen in a filmy top dancing and making out with another man in a downtown club. I’m also a devoted mother to a young daughter. Both sets of grandparents are excited to watch our daughter any time we want to get away. Given my past, my dad probably suspects my life isn’t quite as clean as we portray, but he hasn’t asked any questions. Honestly, he’s just glad I’ve found somebody and I’m happy. I’m not completely squeaky-clean in my hometown, but at least behave within broad social norms. Considering all that, whenever my husband and I rendezvous with another couple, it’s out of town and discrete.

    I’d like to think I’m pretty open-minded, but I have a few rules. First, both couples have to bring recent (last 30 days) STD tests. There’s never been a problem with that. We all figure we have Herpes, but want to ensure that’s all we have. Next, I insist on either having hotel rooms that connect or are next to each other. I had a bad experience in my past (when I was single), and I want my husband within screaming distance if something doesn’t go well. Connected rooms are best as we can wander between the rooms in various stages of undress. If adjacent or connected rooms aren’t available, I insist on both couples being in the room during sex. Again I want my husband around in case something isn’t quite right. There’s never been an issue, but I want the security nonetheless. I’m sure a few hotels have security videos showing me with my husband wandering to the elevator wearing back-seamed stockings, spiked heels, and a shorty robe, and later returning in my short robe, bare feet, a wadded ball of stockings, panties, and lingerie in my hand, my hair amiss, and my husband carrying my heels! :reddevil: Finally, our encounters are only for sex. I’ll screw the hell out of a guy, but I don’t want to fall asleep with another man; I want to be with my husband to sleep. I don’t want some strange guy drooling and snoring. Not only that, but one of our biggest turn-ons is when we get together after an evening romp and I tell my husband everything the other guy did to me. Late evening sex with my husband might be the best part of exchanging.:)

    As far as what we do, it’s pretty open. I’ll do girl-girl, blow jobs (including deep throat or “swallowing” as I call it), and most any position imaginable. I’ll do anal with my husband, but am selective with others. I’ve done light bondage, but draw the line at hardcore S/M.

    Reading over all this, maybe it sounds like I impose a lot of rules. Honestly, the only thing that’s been challenged was falling asleep with each other. Once I explained my husband and I like to spend the night together the topic was dropped. From our experience, I’ll engage in a broader variety of sex acts than most! :reddevil:
     
  20. benjdirect2u

    benjdirect2u Guest

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    I think once the couple swapping takes place, it would sow the seeds of discontent, maybe fun at first but the marriage will never be the same again. Couples will only do this because they are discontent in the first place, and once by swapping this is confirmed, it is a certain spiral down towards divorce, or at least that outlook that the grass is always greener on the other side.
     
  21. desperad0

    desperad0 Member

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    How does one go about joining one of those groups? I would think that many of the people expressing an interest in joining would be undesirable, for one reason or another. How do you screen them out?

    I find this hard to believe. He may be saying this only because he thinks he will never be put to the test.

    Only one troll in the thread so far? That's a surprise, given the subject matter.
     
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